


Family by Love

by cloudyunicorn698



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Adoption, Difficult family histories, F/F, Family, Friends to Lovers, Meaning of family, Merging Families, Rizzles, Slow Burn, so much love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:27:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29689479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudyunicorn698/pseuds/cloudyunicorn698
Summary: It has been nearly seven years since Maura left Boston – since she last spoke to Jane. Maura returns to Boston with her now three-year-old daughter, but she doesn’t know what she’s coming home to or if she’ll even be welcome. Maura’s return is further complicated by a decision she made six year ago that forever links her to Jane. Slow burn but eventual Rizzles.
Relationships: Maura Isles & Jane Rizzoli, Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli, Nina Holiday/Frankie Rizzoli Jr.
Comments: 132
Kudos: 127





	1. Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> I have a problem in that I can’t seem to stop coming up with new stories. Please don’t hate me for starting another one before I finish the current stories. While I definitely write for all of you, the readers, I also write for myself and getting these things out of my head is honestly the most helpful part for me. Plus, when I really get something stuck in my head, it’s hard to make progress on the other stories. I know I could just not post stuff, but I figure if at least one person enjoys it, even if it takes me a long time to update, it’s worth sharing. I still fully intend to finish everything I start.
> 
> Trigger warning: The story will deal with some difficult issues of family and what it means to be a family. To be honest, although I know exactly where this story is going and how I’m going to get there, I don’t know exactly what to warm for. Therefore, if you ever notice something that should be added as a trigger warning, please please please tell me.

_Maura: June, Present Day_

A three-year-old with strawberry blonde hair that curled loosely around her shoulders bounced in her seat. She turned towards her mother, her hazel eyes sparkling with excitement. “When do we leave? When will we get there? How long will we be in the air? How do planes fly?” she peppered her mother with question after question not bothering to wait for an answer to a single one.

Maura smiled tiredly at her daughter, offering her what she hoped was a reassuring expression despite her own anxiety. “We should be taking off relatively shortly,” she explained, “but remember, the flight is long. We’ll be in the air for about four and a half hours; then, it will still take us a while to get to our apartment. It will be dinner time by the time we are at our new home. Hopefully, you will be able to take a nap on the plane, though; that will make it seem faster.”

“Do we get to see Jane tonight?” the girl asked.

“No,” Maura replied patiently even though she had explained this many times over the past few days to her daughter. “We’re going to try to see her tomorrow, but she may not be available. We may have to be patient.”

“Okay,” the girl huffed, disappointment evident in her voice. “Does Jane have kids?” she added, her excitement returning.

Maura’s breath caught in her throat. Despite the fact that they had talked about Jane a lot throughout her daughter’s childhood and especially over the last three weeks, the three-year-old hadn’t asked this particular question yet. Maura had started to hope that she wouldn’t ask it at all. The girl was still looking at her expectantly, so Maura offered her the only answer she could, “I don’t know, sweetie.”

Maura was saved from having to elaborate by the arrival of the passenger that would be occupying the aisle seat next to her. She smiled politely at him as he stored his bag in the overhead compartment and sat down next to her. She really hoped that he wouldn’t be annoyed to be seated near a toddler.

“Good morning, my name is John,” he said as he held out his hand for Maura to shake.

“Good morning,” Maura replied with a smile. “I’m Maura, and this is my daughter…”

“Sophie Jane Montgomery,” the three-year-old interrupted Maura in her excitement, offering her full name without hesitation.

John chuckled. “It’s nice to meet you Sophie,” he said as he addressed the girl. “And it’s nice to meet you as well, Maura. Are you guys visiting Boston or is Boston home?”

Maura cringed internally. _If only he knew_ , she thought to herself. The answer to that question was far from simple, for her at least.

“Boston is our _new_ home,” Sophie told him confidently, putting extra emphasis on the word new.

“Oh, is that so?” he said, smiling at the girl’s enthusiasm. “Boston is my home, too, but it’s not new for me. I’ve lived in Boston for nearly 40 years.”

“Wow,” said Sophie, causing the older man to chuckle. Forty years probably did sound like a long time to a toddler. “Do you like Boston?” she asked.

“I love Boston,” he said. “That’s why I stayed after college. Well, that and because I met my wife.”

“Where is your wife?” Sophie asked, looking around the plane as though she might recognize a woman she had never met.

“She’s at home in Boston,” John said patiently.

“Do you have kids?” Sophie asked, repeating the question she had asked Maura about Jane a few minutes prior.

“Sophie,” Maura chided not wanting her daughter to make John uncomfortable by asking personal questions.

“It’s okay,” John said to both of them. “I’m a third-grade teacher, so I’m used to all the questions. I completely understand and won’t be in anyway offended if you’d prefer that she not talk to me,” he added quietly to Maura, “but I’m also fine with anything she wants to ask me or tell me.”

“Thank you,” Maura said gratefully. She was glad for the distraction for Sophie. It was moments like these that made Maura notice how different her daughter’s personality is from her own. Sophie may be her carbon-copy in looks, but while she had Maura’s intelligence and kindness, their personalities were otherwise complete opposite. Sophie was out-going and personable; she was confident; and she was able to connect with anybody – child or adult.

Returning his attention to Sophie, John responded to her question, “Yes, I have two daughters. In fact, I was just visiting one of my daughters. She just had a baby, so my wife and I coordinated our visits so that we could maximize the time we could be there to help her and her husband with the new baby.”

“A baby!” Sophie said excitedly.

John chuckled. “Yes, a little boy,” he supplied. “His name is Colin. He’s my first grandchild.”

“I want a baby,” Sophie said, turning to address Maura. “Can we have a baby?”

John laughed. “Sorry,” he whispered so that only Maura could hear.

Maura smiled. “Not right now, honey,” she told Sophie.

“Maybe someday?” Sophie asked hopefully.

“I’m not sure,” Maura said, and the crestfallen look on her daughter’s face broke her heart. Luckily, John quickly changed the subject. Sophie and John continued their conversation for a while until Sophie started to yawn and Maura suggested she try to nap. Sophie laid down with her head in Maura’s lap and fell asleep almost instantly. After thanking John for entertaining Sophie for a while, Maura got lost in thought.

As she played with Sophie’s hair, she couldn’t help but think about how different yet how similar to her own childhood her daughter’s life had been up until this point. Until today, Sophie had never left Utah whereas Maura had travelled to numerous different countries on multiple continents by the time she was three. Sophie had also never spent a night away from Maura. In fact, she spent very little time away from Maura. In contrast, Maura was primarily raised by nannies, and she saw very little of her parents. Sophie had never even had a babysitter; Maura only trusted the credentialed day-care at the hospital she worked at to care for her daughter.

Yet, Sophie’s childhood so far was likely nearly as lonely as Maura’s had been. Yes, Sophie had Maura, but that was all she had. She hadn’t been raised around family – no siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents – and Maura had never made close friends after leaving Boston, so she didn’t even have that support system.

Maura sighed to herself. She closed her eyes and willed herself to relax. It had been seven years since Maura had lived in Boston – more specifically, it had been six years, ten months, one week, and three days since she left home. She had been to Boston a handful of times in the 18 months following her departure, but she hadn’t been home, not really.

Even worse was the fact that she hadn’t spoken to Jane in six years, ten months, one week, and four days. She hadn’t even been in contact with anyone who knew Jane in that time. For all she knew, Jane might not even be willing to speak to her. _No! Stop thinking that way,_ she scolded herself. She had missed Jane every single day since she last saw her.

Not contacting Jane had been one of the hardest parts of everything that had happened. She had actually had to train her brain to forget Jane’s phone number. Now, all she had was an address written down on the back of a business card. The problem was Maura wasn’t sure how Jane would react to her return. Not only had Maura disappeared without a word, but she had made another decision that changed both of their lives forever – a decision that Jane was given no choice in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John’s not going to be part of this story. So, before people start guessing that he had a malicious reason for talking to Maura and Sophie, I want to stop you there. The only point of his character was to help get some of the information out to the readers.
> 
> Also, do you guys prefer shorter more frequent chapters or longer chapters?


	2. New Starts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve settled on a compromise in terms of chapter length. The first few chapters are going to be relatively short, but posted frequently (1-2 days apart), but then later chapters will be longer (although, there will probably be more time in between chapters). Hopefully, this will give some suspense as the full premise is revealed over a few chapters but allow for more detailed interactions in the longer chapters once Jane and Maura are talking again. Also, to be clear, the long vs short chapters question doesn’t affect how much I write, just how I divide it.

_Maura: June, Present Day_

Maura let the water from the shower run down her body, hoping the warmth would help her relax. She and Sophie had arrived in Boston the night before. They had eaten dinner in the airport – something Maura had never done before – and taken a taxi to their new apartment. When she decided to move back to Boston, Maura had had to quickly find an affordable place for them to live. She didn’t have the money to afford a place like her old home in Beacon Hill. In fact, she could barely afford to live in Boston proper, period. In the end, she had rented an apartment for one month in an area of town she wasn’t familiar with. She figured that would at least get them to Boston; then, she could find a more permanent place to live.

Unfortunately, the apartment was even worse than Maura had expected. It was clean, which was a relief, but it was worn down. The walls were thin, so you could hear everything going on in the surrounding apartments and the hallway, and the only windows in the apartment were overlooking an alley full of dumpsters. The neighborhood was also much less safe than she was comfortable with.

She had been smart enough to pack one suitcase with pillows and blankets, so she was able to make a relatively comfortable bed for the two of them on the floor. At the moment, they only had what they could bring on the plane. The rest of their belongings would arrive next week, but even that was admittedly not much.

Maura had left Sophie still asleep in the make-shift bed to shower. Maura hadn’t slept much the night before, eventually giving up and deciding to get up early to take an extra-long shower.

Today was the day. Today, she was hopefully going to see Jane again. Today, she was going to face the consequences of the decision she made six years ago. She was terrified that her actions years ago had lost her her family.

She hadn’t realized that tears had joined the water droplets rolling down her face. It was Sophie’s sleepy voice that pulled her from her thoughts, “Mama?” Quickly wiping away the evidence of her tears, she greeted Sophie, “good morning,” and started getting them both ready for the day.

Clean from the shower with teeth and hair brushed, Maura sent Sophie back to the bedroom to pick out an outfit to wear while Maura quickly dried her hair. After drying her hair, Maura made her way to the bedroom. She was surprised to find Sophie sitting in only her underwear with tears streaming down her face and the contents of her suitcase strewn across the floor.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Maura asked gently, moving quickly to kneel in front of her daughter.

Sophie’s sad face looked up at Maura. With trembling lips, Sophie choked out, “I don’t know what to wear. I want Jane to like me.”

“Oh, sweetie, she’s going to love you,” Maura said, trying to infuse every bit of love she could into her words. Maura may be unsure of how Jane would react to her, but she had no doubt that Jane would never take out her anger at Maura on Sophie. “It doesn’t matter what you wear.”

“But…but…but she’s your best fwend but…but you’re wuwwied,” Sophie said through her tears.*

Maura’s heart broke. She hated that as much as she tried to make this a positive change for her daughter, Maura’s anxieties had still clearly affected Sophie. “Come here,” she whispered, gesturing for Sophie to stand up so she could give her a hug. Still holding her daughter tight, she said into her hair, “You have nothing to worry about, sweetie. Yes, I am nervous about seeing Jane, but not because I don’t think she’s going to like you. I _know_ she’s going to love you. It’s just that Jane and I have a lot of history, so I’m not sure how she’s going to react seeing me again after such a long time. That’s not something you need to worry about, though.”

Maura knew by how quiet Sophie was as they finished getting ready and shared a simple breakfast that she was still nervous, but Maura didn’t know what else to say to reassure her.

Around 9:30am, they made their way downstairs. Maura didn’t have a cell phone at the moment, so she planned to stop by the leasing office to ask them to call her a cab. Unfortunately, the leasing office was closed on Saturday mornings.

She was still standing with Sophie on her hip outside the leasing office, which faced the main street, trying to decide what to do next when a car pulled to the curb.

“Dr. Isles?” a familiar voice called through the open window of the car. Maura froze. She hadn’t expected to see anyone she knew so quickly after returning to Boston. She briefly considered ignoring the voice, but years of training to be polite took over and she turned around.

“Oh my god, Maura,” Kent Drake said as he got out of the car and walked towards her. “It’s really you!”

“Hi, Kent,” Maura said nervously. To be fair, of all the people she could have run into unexpectedly, he wasn’t the worst choice. He was awkward, sure, but he was also caring, and he never judged her.

“Are you back in Boston?” he said. “I mean, permanently?”

Maura sighed. She might as well tell the truth. “Yes, but don’t worry, I’m not going to try to take your job,” she added quickly as she noticed the badge pinned to his shirt that read Chief Medical Examiner.

“Oh, that’s not why I was asking,” he said, slightly caught off guard. “Of course, if you’d like to come back, we’d love to have you. We could figure out the logistics of titles and positions and whatnot. I was really asking as a friend, though. I don’t know if you ever considered me a friend, but I did consider you a friend.”

Maura smiled at his nervous rambling, but before she could answer, Sophie decided she wanted to join the conversation.

“Hi, I’m Sophie!” she said to Kent, her anxieties from the morning washing away in her excitement to meet a new person.

“Hi, Sophie, I’m Kent. I used to work with your…mom…” Kent looked to Maura for confirmation, not wanting to assume that the toddler was her daughter despite the fact that she looked exactly like Maura. Maura nodded with a smile.

“What are you two doing out here?” he asked, glancing around at their surroundings and realizing there wasn’t much around them that explained Maura’s presence in this area.

“I’m actually trying to get a cab,” Maura said by way of explanation, “but I don’t have a phone. Would it be possible for me to use your phone to call a taxi or an Uber?”

Kent paused, contemplating her request. “I can drive you if you need to go somewhere,” he offered eventually.

“Oh, no, thank you, but I can’t ask that of you,” Maura said quickly.

“Honestly, as long as you’re going somewhere in Boston, I don’t mind,” Kent said. “I just left a crime scene, and it will be a while before the body is at the morgue, so I have time. Besides, I have a car seat. It will take you forever to get a cab with a car seat out here.”

Maura sighed. She knew he was right. Even though she didn’t really want to take his offer, she knew it was by far the safest option for Sophie, and that’s what mattered the most.

“It’s probably at least 30 minutes from here, though,” Maura said, and Kent instantly picked up on the fact that she didn’t say no.

“It’s okay, no problem,” he said as he turned towards the car, waving for them to follow him.

“Thank you,” Maura finally acquiesced.

“Really, it’s no problem,” he said. After Sophie was safely buckled in the car seat, he added so only Maura could hear, “I won’t ask questions, okay.”

“Thank you,” Maura said quietly, grateful that he eased that concern.

Once they were both in the car as well, Maura pulled the card with Jane’s address from her purse. She handed it to Kent, expecting him to type it into his phone’s navigation app. Instead, a small smile crossed his face, and he handed it back to her.

“You know the address?” she asked nervously.

“Yes,” he answered simply, and neither of them elaborated.

“Do you have kids?” Sophie asked from the backseat. Maura rolled her eyes – apparently, this was Sophie’s new favorite question. She supposed that given the fact that Kent had a car seat, it wasn’t the most ridiculous question. She also had to admit that she wanted to know as well.

“Yes, I have a little boy. He’s actually probably around you’re age. He’s three.”

“I’m three, too!” Sophie said excitedly, holding up her hand with three fingers up to illustrate her point. “Will he be my friend?”

Kent laughed. “I think he might like that.”

“What’s his name?”

“Chris,” Kent said. “He’s with his mom today. We’re divorced, but we share custody. He stays with his mom the weekends I’m on call.” Maura knew that Kent was offering this information as much for her benefit, saving her from having to ask, as he was answering Sophie’s questions.

“What does he like to do?” Sophie asked.

“Well, he likes to play,” Kent said. “He loves trains, and he puts together elaborate tracks all through the house. He also loves t-ball.”

“What’s t-ball?” Sophie interrupted.

“It’s essentially baseball,” Kent said, and Maura watched Sophie’s eyes light up in excitement through the rearview mirror. “But instead of hitting a ball thrown by someone, younger kids can hit the ball off a tee, which is why it’s called t-ball.”

“Is he good?”

“No,” Kent said simply, causing Maura to snort in the passenger seat as she tried to stop her laughter at his honest answer. “But he likes it, so that’s all that matters.”

“Can girls play?” Sophie asked, nervously. Maura hated that at only three Sophie already felt the need to ask whether girls could do something boys could.

“Of course,” Kent said. “In fact, the best player on Chris’s team is a girl. And I think Chris has a little crush on her,” he added the last part to Maura, making her smile.

“What’s her name?” Sophie continued her questions.

“Harper, she’s three as well,” Kent said.

“I want to play, too,” Sophie said. “Can I play?”

“Well, the season is almost over, so I don’t know if kids can still join at this point, but once you and your mom are settled, maybe we can find a time for you to come play informally with Chris and some of his friends.”

“Yes!” Sophie said excitedly.

Kent and Sophie continued talking for the rest of the drive. Maura was incredibly grateful that Kent wasn’t pushing her for information and that he was keeping Sophie entertained.

Kent dropped them off at Jane’s house. Before Maura got out of the car, he quickly wrote his cell phone number on an old receipt and handed it to her telling her to call if she needed anything.

Maura thanked him profusely before getting Sophie out of the backseat. With Sophie on her hip, Maura walked up the front walk to the front door. When she got to the porch, she paused, suddenly feeling too scared to make the next step.

“I think you need to wing the dow-beww,” Sophie whispered in her ear.*

Maura took a deep breath and reached a shaky hand towards the doorbell. She closed her eyes as her finger made contact with the button, and they heard the doorbell ring through the house. She opened her eyes in time to see Jane walking towards the front door, and Maura’s heart instantly constricted. She felt the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, willing them not to fall as the door opened to reveal her best friend and two little girls.

* * *

_Jane: June, Present Day_

“Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama,” Finn stepped between Jane and the counter in an attempt to get her mother’s attention. Since Jane was leaning her elbows on the counter while she looked at the computer screen, when Finn stepped in front of her, her face was inches from Jane’s.

Jane wanted to be annoyed. Finn was supposed to be upstairs reading. But the adorable happy face looking up at her made her smile.

Once she had her mother’s attention, Finn asked, “When are we going to Target?”

Jane laughed, standing up straight and looking down at her daughter. “We’re not going until after you and Emma finish your homework, which is what you are supposed to be doing right now,” Jane said, giving Finn a playful poke to emphasize her words.

Finn pouted, clearly gearing up to argue with Jane, but the doorbell ringing interrupted her.

She quickly took off for the front-door, her three-year-old sister trailing a couple feet behind her.

“Do not answer it until I get there,” Jane called out, reminding her daughters of the rule. She had expected Finn to call back telling her it was the UPS driver or someone similar, but instead her daughter reappeared in the kitchen, her face scrunched up in confusion.

“Who is it?” Jane asked.

“Uh, you should come see,” Finn replied, her voice shaking slightly.

Jane quickly moved towards her daughter and the front door. The confusion and slight fear on Finn’s face was scaring her. She could see through the windows next to the front door as she came around the corner from the living area to the entryway. Her heart leapt into her throat the instant she saw who was standing on the other side of her front door. She moved quickly, pulling the door open so fast she nearly knocked Finn to the ground.

Jane stared at the woman on her porch in shock. She felt lightheaded, and she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. Her mouth instantly went dry as her mouth hung open in shock. Finn moved around Jane so that she was on her left, with her arms wrapped around Jane’s leg. Her sister stood on Jane’s right. All three of them staring silently at the two people on the porch.

It was Sophie who finally broke the silence. Despite being on Maura’s hip, she threw her body weight towards Jane, calling out an excited “Jane!”

Jane reacted instinctively, reaching out to catch Sophie, stopping her from falling out of Maura’s arms. Jane pulled the girl towards her own body so that she could easily hold Sophie in her arms with Sophie’s legs wrapped around her hips. Jane smiled brightly at the excited little girl who looked so much like her mother; Sophie’s enthusiasm easily pushed aside Jane’s confusion.

“Hi, I’m Sophie,” Sophie said once she was safe in Jane’s arms.

“Hi, Sophie, I’m Jane,” Jane replied.

“I know,” Sophie said matter-of-factly, causing Jane to chuckle. Sophie looked to the side, eyes locking on the three-year-old smiling up at her.

Jane lowered herself to her daughters’ level with Sophie still in her arms.

“Sophie, this is Harper,” Jane introduced the three-year-old, “and this is Finley,” she added introducing the six-year-old on her other side.

“Hi!” Harper said, bouncing on her toes, mirroring Sophie’s excitement. Finn remained silent but offered a shy wave to Sophie as she clung to Jane.

“Will you be my friends?” Sophie asked. Before Jane could say anything, Finn spoke up.

“Is that your mom?” Finn asked, pointing to Maura. Jane noticed Maura flinch slightly out the side of her eye.

Sophie turned to look at Maura before returning her gaze to Finn and answering, “Yeah.”

“I think we’re sisters,” Finn said to Sophie before turning to look at Jane for confirmation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *She’s your best friend, but you’re worried.  
> *I think you need to ring the doorbell.


	3. Motherhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you’re confused, especially about what happened, but also about who’s who. This is intentional (sorry), I promise you’ll know soon. This chapter will start to make some things clearer, but there will still be a LOT you don’t know.

_Jane: March, Six years ago_

Jane knocked on Cavanaugh’s door.

“Come in,” she heard him call. She took a deep breath to calm herself before stepping into the office.

“Lieutenant,” she said by way of greeting.

“Rizzoli?” he said, confusion evident in his voice as he looked up from his paperwork. “I thought you called in sick.”

“I did, um, that’s why I’m here, actually,” Jane said, her panic rising quickly. “Well, okay, this is hard…um…”

“Breathe, Rizzoli,” Cavanaugh said, concerned by Jane’s demeanor. He had never seen her so…nervous? anxious? off-centered? just off?

“Sorry, sir,” Jane said before taking another deep breath. “I’m actually here to offer my resignation, effective immediately.”

Surprise was evident on her boss’s face. “Sit,” Cavanaugh said, gesturing to the seat across his desk. “Can we talk about this?”

“Yes, but I’m not going to change my mind,” Jane said. “I’ll explain, but my decision is non-negotiable.”

“What’s going on, Jane?” he asked, and Jane noticed the switch to her first name instead of the usual “Rizzoli.”

“I’m…well…I’m a mother, now.” Jane said. Okay, maybe that was an awkward way to start.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked. He knew he wasn’t supposed to ask his subordinate – or anyone at work – that question, but he was too concerned about Jane to care at the moment.

“No,” she said slowly.

“I don’t understand.”

“I know,” Jane admitted. “It’s complicated and confusing and I haven’t figured out how to tell people yet. I haven’t even told Ma yet. I literally came right from the hospital to here.”

“Is Angela okay?” he asked quickly, clearly only hearing the words Ma and hospital.

“Yeah, yeah, this has nothing to do with ma. Well, not really. I guess it will technically affect everyone in my family, but…anyway, no one is hurt or anything like that.” Jane paused to take a deep breath, deciding she just needed to bite the bullet and get the words out. “Maura had twins and left them in my custody,” she said all in one breath.

Cavanaugh stared at her in shocked silence. Of everything Jane could have possibly said to him, that would have been his last guess – actually, no it wouldn’t have even been one of his guesses.

“You know where Dr. Isles is?” he asked.

“No,” Jane said simply. “I just got a call from the hospital this morning. That’s why I called in sick. They told me that Maura had given birth yesterday and had signed over legal and custodial guardianship rights to me. I tried to get them to let me see her, but she was already gone before they called me. I went up to the hospital. I just finished going through all the paperwork with the lawyer and the hospital. Then, I got to meet them.” At this point, a soft smile tugged at her lips because despite everything – despite missing Maura, despite the circumstances – she had instantly fallen in love with the two baby girls left in her care. “I get to take them home tomorrow,” she continued. “I can’t in good conscience put my life on the line every day if I’m their only parent.”

Cavanaugh sighed. He hated to lose his best detective but having lost his own wife and child to the job, he couldn’t say he didn’t understand her decision. “We could figure out a desk job for you, something that wouldn’t put you in danger,” he offered, not quite willing to let her go just yet.

“Thanks,” Jane replied. “But, at least for now, I just want to parent. Maura also left money to support the girls. Don’t get me wrong, I would take care of them no matter what; she didn’t pay me to take them. However, it does give me the freedom to parent the way I want to.”

Cavanaugh nodded. “Alright, I guess I’ll start the paperwork,” he said resignedly. “You’ll have to come back to sign it, probably next week, but for now, go buy a shit-ton of baby stuff.”

Jane smiled. “Thanks, boss. Can you keep this to yourself for now? Obviously, everyone is going to find out quickly, but I’d like to be able to tell my family first.”

“Of course,” he assured her. “I’ll even wait a couple of days to start the paperwork if you want. You can just use sick time for now. That way, it won’t get out before you’re ready.”

“Thank you,” Jane said gratefully. “Okay, now I have to go tell Ma that she has two new grandbabies.” Jane stood up and started walking to the door before Cavanaugh stopped her.

“Jane, what are their names?” he asked.

Jane smiled. “Emma Angela and Finley Grace,” she said.

“Congratulations, Jane,” Cavanaugh offered before she let herself out.

Twenty minutes later, Jane knocked on her mother’s door.

Angela opened the door, surprised to see her daughter standing on the other side. “Janie, I wasn’t expecting you. Why aren’t you at work?” she asked, concerned.

“Hey, yeah, I know,” Jane said, clearly stalling. “I, um, I need to talk to you.”

“What’s wrong?” Angela asked quickly.

“No, it’s good,” Jane assured her. “Well, it’s complicated, but ultimately – I don’t know – but I think it’s good.” Jane let a small smile creep onto her face before continuing, “Can I come in? This won’t be a short conversation.”

“Of course,” Angela replied, stepping back to allow Jane to enter.

Jane took a deep breath before stepping into her mother’s house. She stood just across the threshold, wringing her hands nervously and looking anywhere but at her mother.

“Janie, what’s going on?” Angela asked gently. Her daughter’s body language was making her nervous despite the fact that Jane said this was a good thing.

“Let’s sit down,” Jane said.

“Okay, but then stop stalling,” Angela said as they sat down on the couch.

“Um, okay, so I got a call from the hospital today,” Jane started nervously.

“What! What happened? Who’s hurt? Is it Frankie? Nina?” Angela exclaimed loudly, cutting Jane off in the process.

“Ma!” Jane snapped, her annoyance overriding her nervousness. “Frankie and Nina are fine. Everyone’s fine. Please just let me get this out. If you interrupt, I’m leaving.”

Angela mimed zipping her lips closed, and Jane rolled her eyes. “Okay, so I got a call from the hospital today. Maura…”

“You heard from Maura?!” Angela interrupted.

“Ma!” Jane said, gritting her teeth in annoyance. “No, I did not hear from Maura, but Maura gave birth to twins.” Jane paused as she tried to calm herself before continuing, “She left them in my custody.”

Angela’s eyes were as wide as saucers, and her mouth hung open in shock.

“Uh…okay…now you can say something…” Jane said, her nervousness returning.

“I don’t understand,” Angela said so quietly that Jane barely heard her.

Jane sighed. “I know, and before you ask, no, I don’t know where Maura is or why she’s gone.” Jane started worrying the scars on her hands as she continued, “But she’s asked me to take care of them. I-I-I…well, I’m going to do it, of course. I’m going to love them as my own – actually, I already do. I…uh…I know it’s weird but…Ma, I need you to be okay with this…”

Angela smiled softly at her daughter. “Jane, of course I will support you, and I will love…wait, did you say them?”

“Oh, yeah, they’re twins. Identical twin girls.”

“I will love them as my grandchildren; they _are_ my grandchildren and they would be whether it’s you or Maura raising them,” Angela assured Jane. “It’s just a lot to wrap my head around. I mean, what are you going to do? You can’t raise twins in your tiny apartment. You have nothing you need for a baby, let alone two. What about work?”

Jane held her hand up to stop her mother’s tirade. “Ma, please stop,” Jane said, closing her eyes for a moment. “I don’t have everything figured out. I literally just found this out. It’s not like I knew Maura was pregnant. If she was pregnant before she disappeared, she may not have even known, but I definitely didn’t know. She very well may have gotten pregnant after she disappeared – I did the math. She left money, though, too. Like a lot of money. I-I really hope she didn’t think she needed to give me money to take them or to love them, but since she did…I don’t know. I feel weird about taking it and using it, but at least for now, I’ve quit my job. I can’t put my life on the line if I’m all they have. I mean, I know you and everyone in the family would take care of them, but…”

“I get it, Jane, and to be honest, I’m really proud of you,” Angela said, pulling her daughter in for a hug.

“Thanks, Ma,” Jane said. “As for my apartment, it’ll be fine for now. We’ll figure something else out eventually, but they’re a day old, so the apartment will be fine. In terms of baby stuff, well, that’s part of why I’m here. I was hoping you’d help me. Like, would you go with me to the store? Make sure I get what I need?” Jane’s voice trembled a little as she asked her mother for help. It’s not that she didn’t think her mother would help her – of course, she would – she just wasn’t yet comfortable with asking for help. She knew she’d have to accept help now, though. Her mother was at least the easiest place to start.

“Of course!” Angela exclaimed, her face lighting up in excitement. “And can I meet them? Where are they? When do you get them?”

“Oh my god with the questions!” Jane huffed, but this time her annoyance was feigned. “They’re still at the hospital. They can’t come home until tomorrow, but all the legal stuff is worked out. I spent hours with the hospital’s and Maura’s lawyers. But yes, we can stop to see them. We won’t be able to stay long though, but since they come home tomorrow, I think you’ll get your fill soon enough.”

“What are their names?” Angela asked.

“Finley Grace and…” Jane paused, took a deep breath, and continued, “Emma Angela. Also, their last name will be Rizzoli. I actually wanted to do Rizzoli-Isles, but the lawyer said I couldn’t do that. I don’t really know why. I didn’t think the US had restrictions on naming, but whatever. Grace is Maura’s grandmother’s name, so there’s at least that.”

“Those are beautiful names, Jane,” Angela said with tears in her eyes. “I’m honored.”

Jane offered Angela a small smile.

Her excitement returning, Angela asked, “So, should we go shopping?”

Jane laughed at her mother’s excitement. “Yes, but I think I should call Constance first,” Jane said.

“And Hope,” Angela reminded Jane.

“Yeah, I should,” Jane said. “Then, maybe I can tell Frankie, Nina, Tommy, Korsak, and Kiki tonight.”

Angela became serious again for a moment. “Jane, I’m really proud of you,” she said gently. “I know this is hard. I know how much you miss Maura. I will help you with anything you need, and you know your brothers will too.”

“Thanks, Ma,” Jane said softly.

* * *

_Jane: June, Present Day_

_“I think we’re sisters,” Finn said to Sophie before turning to look at Jane for confirmation._

Jane sighed and purposely avoided making eye contact with Maura. This was probably something she should let Maura answer, but she couldn’t get herself to avoid answering the question. She had long ago committed to never lying to the girls about where they came from.

“Yes,” Jane said simply, hoping that that would be enough for now. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends.”

“Okay,” Finn said, shifting her gaze back to Sophie.

“I’ll be your friend,” Harper added, never one to be left out of a conversation.

Sophie squealed in excitement. Jane laughed before addressing Sophie again, “Sophie, do you like dolls?”

“Yes!” Sophie said, nodding her head enthusiastically.

“Um, if it’s okay with your mom, maybe Finn and Harper will show you their dolls,” Jane offered, finally looking up at Maura. When Sophie looked back at Maura for permission, Maura nodded and tried to give her daughter a reassuring smile, but she wasn’t sure she was successful.

Sophie instantly squirmed out of Jane’s arms, and Harper started pulling her towards the stairs with Finn trailing behind nervously.

“Sophie, shoes,” Maura called out weakly in an attempt to remind her daughter to take off her shoes, but Sophie either didn’t hear her or ignored her in her excitement to play with Harper and Finn.

Jane stood up and looked at Maura. She shook her head. “It’s okay, just let them go,” she said. “Don’t make me wait any longer,” she added as she opened her arms to Maura. Without hesitation, Maura stepped into Jane’s embrace, burying her face in Jane’s curls, and breathing in the familiar scent of her best friend.

Jane wasn’t surprised when she felt Maura’s body shaking with sobs in her arms, her tears soaking through her t-shirt. Jane stood there holding her best friend tight as tears leaked out of her own eyes.

They probably would have stood like that forever had it not been for the cat trying to sneak out the open front door. Jane released Maura to grab the cat and shut the front door. Once the door was shut, Jane held up the cat for Maura to see. With a smile, she told Maura, “This is Olaf,” before setting the cat back on the floor. “I’m sure you can guess where that name came from.”

Maura smiled weakly and unsuccessfully tried to wipe the tears from her face. They looked at each other awkwardly for a few seconds, neither one knowing what to say.

“Um, do you want to come in for coffee?” Jane asked nervously.

Maura nodded, not yet trusting her voice.

Jane started to lead Maura towards the kitchen, but when she turned to tell Maura something, she realized that Maura wasn’t following her. She was still standing frozen in the entryway, looking terrified.

Jane walked back towards Maura. “Are you okay?” she asked gently. “I mean…okay, maybe that was a stupid question, but I mean…”

“Sister,” Maura choked out, the single word getting stuck in her throat.

Jane’s eyebrows knitted in confusion. Then, remembering the conversation at the front door with Finn and Sophie, she deflated a bit. “Oh, you didn’t want me to tell them?” she asked, her anxiety rising. “I’m sorry. I know that should have been your choice, but I couldn’t lie to her. I just…”

But Maura shook her head. “No, it’s not…it’s not that. It’s…she had a sister?” she stuttered.

Jane wasn’t following Maura’s question at all. Trying her best to figure out what Maura was trying to say, she offered, “They have another sister?”

“Twins,” Maura tried again. “I…they were…she was…I left…” Maura was overcome with tears and couldn’t continue, but Jane finally caught on.

Feeling a rush of guilt for leaving Maura wondering and worried, Jane stepped back towards her best friend and wrapped her in a tight hug.

“She’s fine. She’s great. They both are,” she said quickly. “I’m so sorry I didn’t make sure you knew right away. She’s just upstairs reading, which is what Finn was supposed to be doing too, by the way. Her name’s Emma.” Releasing Maura, she added, “I’ll get them. Hold on.”

“No, wait, please,” Maura said quickly. “I need a minute. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jane said gently. “Come on, I’ll make you coffee.” She gently placed her hand on the small of Maura’s back, guiding her to the kitchen. She pulled out one of the island chairs for Maura to sit, which Maura took gratefully.

Jane moved around the kitchen, making coffee. “It’s not instant, I promise,” Jane teased in an attempt to lessen some of the tension and anxiety filling the room. “In fact, you kinda ruined me. I actually buy good coffee now. I mean, probably not as good as what you buy, but definitely infinitely better than what I used to drink.” Maura gave Jane a small smile as Jane pushed the bag of coffee beans across the counter for her to see. Maura took the bag, reading the label mostly as a method of distraction.

Jane let Maura have a few moments to sit in silence knowing she probably needed time to gather her thoughts. A few minutes later, Jane placed a hot steaming cup of coffee in front of Maura, made just the way she liked it – or at least how she used to like it.

“Thank you,” Maura said; her voice was barely above a whisper yet the emotions swirling behind the words were loud and clear.

“Mama?” a little voice called from the second level.

Jane moved from the kitchen to the living area. Their house was a modern open-concept house, so the landing for the second floor looked over the living area. Emma was standing on the landing, looking over the railing, and calling for Jane. Usually, Jane didn’t allow the kids to yell from one floor to the other, but for now, she decided to let it go.

“Yeah, bean, what’s up?” Jane asked gently, even though she was pretty sure she knew what Emma was going to ask her.

“Uh…um, Finn says mommy’s here and Sophie’s our sister?” Emma said, her voice rising at the end indicating her comment was more of a question than a statement.

“Yes, sweetie,” Jane said. “Finn is correct.”

Emma continued to stare over the railing at Jane. Jane didn’t say anything, letting her daughter process the information in her own way.

From where she was standing, Emma couldn’t really see Maura in the kitchen, but Maura was able to hear the entire conversation. Jane had to stop herself from looking over to Maura, deciding it was more important to keep her attention on Emma at the moment.

Emma huffed in annoyance, offering nothing more than an “okay.”

Without another word, Emma turned and walked back to the bedroom where her sisters were still playing. Jane let her go. Emma was very much like Jane; she needed time to process emotionally difficult things before she knew how to proceed. Honestly, Jane was happy that Emma at least didn’t explode – she also had Jane’s reactive personality.

When the door shut behind Emma, Jane finally looked back to the kitchen to see Maura watching her. As Jane walked back to the kitchen, Maura asked nervously, “That’s it?”

Jane shrugged. “For now,” she said. “They’ll have questions and reactions and whatever else, but they need time to process.”

“She sounded a bit annoyed,” Maura said quietly, unsure what that meant, but she was surprised when Jane actually laughed.

“She doesn’t know how to react to what’s happening. Her annoyance was entirely about the fact that her sister knew something before she did,” Jane explained with a smirk.

“How do you know?”

Jane shrugged again. “Because I know my kids…er, the kids…our kids…” Jane trailed off, the last part so quiet she wasn’t even sure Maura heard her. She could recognize the awkwardness of the moment.

They both fell silent, their eyes looking anywhere but at each other.

After anxiously spending a few minutes moving around her kitchen trying to find something to do with her hands, Jane finally broke the silence, “Uh, I’m not sure what your plans are for today. You probably have other people you need to see…” Jane trailed off. She didn’t want to assume Maura had set aside the whole day to see them; she had plenty of other people she hadn’t seen in years. On the other hand, she couldn’t imagine Maura _not_ wanting to spend the whole day getting to know her daughters – they are amazing, after all.

“We don’t…” Maura said slowly. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure if you would be here or if we would need to come back later. I also…I…I wasn’t sure if you’d even let me in…”

Jane bit her lip, unsure of how to respond. “We have a lot to talk about,” she said finally. “I’m not saying everything is going to work out. I don’t…I didn’t…I don’t even know where you’ve been or what happened, but I’ll always let you in the door – I’ll always at least hear you out.”

Tears returned to Maura’s eyes at Jane’s words. She was feeling extremely overwhelmed, so she was grateful when Jane changed the subject.

Aware that the girls would be asking for lunch soon and not willing to have this initial conversation in front of them, Jane turned to more practical matters. “Well, do you guys want to at least stay for lunch? Then, maybe the kids can watch a movie and we can talk?”

Maura nodded, still trying to contain her tears.

“Is there anything Sophie can’t or won’t eat?” Jane asked.

Maura took a deep breath. “No, she’s a pretty good eater, and she doesn’t have any allergies,” Maura said, her voice still shaking somewhat.

“I had been planning on making quesadillas with chicken and tomatoes because the chicken and tomatoes are already cut up. Also, we need to go grocery shopping, so we don’t have a ton of options.”

“Sophie will like that,” Maura said.

Jane nodded and started making lunch. They were both silent, lost in their own thoughts, while Jane was preparing the quesadillas and adding fresh carrots and cucumbers to four kids’ plates and two regular plates. Just as she finished setting the plates on the table, she heard the upstairs door open. Harper called from the landing, “Mama, we’re hungry.”

“Well, good because lunch is ready,” she said. Maura stood up from the island as four sets of little feet hurried down the stairs. Harper went straight to the table, a very excited Sophie on her heels. Harper took her usual seat and told Sophie to sit next to her.

Finn and Emma were a lot slower to come down. When Jane saw them, her heart broke. Emma’s face was red and blotchy with tears coating her cheeks, indicating that she had been crying for quite some time. Jane hated that she had been upstairs crying and hadn’t called for Jane. Jane also hated herself for not immediately checking on the girls after Maura and Sophie showed up. Finn wasn’t crying, but her face showed her distress, nonetheless.

Jane opened her mouth, intending to comfort Emma and suggest the three of them – Jane, Emma, and Finn – talk alone. Emma was faster though.

Her face screwed up in anger, she looked directly at Maura and yelled, “I DON’T WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU! YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!”

Finn’s face telegraphed her shock at her sister’s outburst, and Jane knew hers probably didn’t look much different. Before Jane could react, Emma turned on her heel and ran up the stairs. Finn made eye contact with Jane for half a second before following her sister back to their bedroom and slamming the door behind them. At the same time, Maura turned tail and ran out the front door, leaving Jane, Harper, and Sophie in shock in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if I don’t use the correct legal terms for custody and parental rights. Please just go with it. The basic idea is what’s important. If you know the correct terms, feel free to let me know and I’ll change them.
> 
> Also, I am NOT saying that a cop cannot be a wonderful amazing single parent. They absolutely can be. Please don’t take it that way when Jane says she doesn’t want to put her life on the line if she is the only parent of the girls. This is just Jane’s decision and rational in this story.
> 
> This story will deal with issues of family and emotional trauma, but it will not include topics of rape and/or sexual assault. I always want/need to know that before reading a story, so I wanted to make that clear.
> 
> Okay, one more warning. We’re about to get into the bulk of the story. This will include situations where you all will be like “that was too easy,” but there will also be times you want to scream at me (like I’m guess you want to do right now…SORRY). Just know there will be a lot of ups and downs, but it will have a happy ending.


	4. Fear

_Jane: June, Present Day_

_Finn and Emma were a lot slower to come down. When Jane saw them, her heart broke. Emma’s face was red and blotchy with tears coating her cheeks, indicating that she had been crying for quite some time. Jane hated that she had been upstairs crying and hadn’t called for Jane. Jane also hated herself for not immediately checking on the girls after Maura and Sophie showed up. Finn wasn’t crying, but her face showed her distress, nonetheless._

_Jane opened her mouth, intending to comfort Emma and suggest the three of them – Jane, Emma, and Finn – talk alone. Emma was faster though._

_Her face screwed up in anger, she looked directly at Maura and yelled, “I DON’T WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU! YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!”_

_Finn’s face telegraphed her shock at her sister’s outburst, and Jane knew hers probably didn’t look much different. Before Jane could react, Emma turned on her heel and ran up the stairs. Finn made eye contact with Jane for half a second before following her sister back to their bedroom and slamming the door behind them. At the same time, Maura turned tail and ran out the front door, leaving Jane, Harper, and Sophie in shock in the kitchen._

Jane closed her eyes for a moment and counted to ten in an effort to keep her own reaction at bay. With a sigh, she looked over at Harper and Sophie, who looked slightly frightened but also somewhat intrigued. “It’s okay,” she said to them. “Are you guys okay to just eat lunch while I go talk to your sisters and mommy?”

“Yeah, can we watch TV?” Harper asked through a mouthful of quesadilla.

“Don’t talk with food in your mouth, but sure, you can eat in the family room and watch TV,” Jane said resignedly. Honestly, it would likely keep them occupied longer than just eating lunch, and she suspected they were all going to need that right now.

Harper and Sophie scrambled to the couch with their plates in hand, and Jane headed upstairs to talk to Emma and Finn.

She knocked lightly before opening the door. Emma and Finn shared a room; their beds were perpendicular in the far corner so that Emma’s bed was along the far wall and Finn’s was along the wall to the left of the door. The heads of their beds came together with a table in between that acted as a nightstand. Both girls were curled up in Emma’s bed, their arms wrapped around each other in attempt to offer the other (and themselves) comfort. Both had clearly been crying, but their tears seemed to have slowed.

Jane’s heart shattered at the sight of her babies. Jane gently shut the door behind her before hurrying to their bedside. When she opened her arms to hold them close, they both accepted her embrace willingly. Jane shifted the three of them so that she could sit with her back against the wall, one girl on each side. She held them as tight to her sides as she could. She leaned down and left a soft kiss on each of their heads before speaking, “I love you guys so much.”

“I love you, too,” Emma replied. Her voice sounded small and was muffled with her face buried in Jane’s side. Finn remained quiet, but Jane knew she felt the same.

Jane didn’t really know where to start. Despite the fact that they had talked about Maura throughout their entire childhood, she felt out of her depth right now.

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t come to check on you guys right away,” she said.

“S’ok,” Emma said quietly.

“No, it’s not,” Jane said. “I want you both to know that I am always here for you. I love you both so much.” She held them a bit tighter and continued, “I’m also really sorry that the first time you met mommy didn’t go well.”

“Mommy hates me now,” Emma said, the tears returning to her eyes.

Jane quickly pulled Emma on to her lap so that she was facing her. “No,” she said firmly. “Mommy does not hate you. She loves you – both of you,” she added, looking at Finn. “She loves you more than you could ever understand, and so do I.”

“I-we-I don’t hate mommy,” Emma said through her tears. “I wuv her too.”

“I know, baby,” Jane said sadly. “And whatever you are feeling, it’s okay.” Jane ran her fingers through Emma’s hair, pushing it off her face. She studied the sad little face staring back at her for a few moments before asking, “Emma, do you know why you said that mommy isn’t your mom?”

Emma tried to blink back tears, but as she struggled to respond, Finn spoke, “We don’t want mommy to take us away. We want to stay with you and Harper.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Jane said, “I don’t want that either, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure we all stay together. No matter what, though, we’ll always be family. I’ll always be your mama. And, you know, mommy only wants what’s best for you.” Jane wanted to promise them no one would ever take them away. She wanted that more than anything, but the truth was, she didn’t really know what Maura’s rights were. Their situation was complicated. She hoped that her rights as their parent were solid, but she hoped even more so that Maura wouldn’t want to take them away from her. It’s not that she didn’t want Maura to be in their lives. Of course, she did. She had always believed and told the kids that Maura was their mother, too.

She also believed that Maura wanted what was best for them. While it was impossible for Jane to think that the girls being taken for her was really what was best for them, she wasn’t 100% sure what Maura would think was best. Obviously, Maura trusted her enough to leave them with her in the first place, but the memory of Maura telling her that she spent her whole childhood hoping that ‘someday my real mother would appear’ has never left her. In fact, the memory has invaded her dreams many times over the past six years.

“I’m going to talk to mommy about all of this, okay?” Jane tried to reassure Emma and Finn the best she could. “I love you both so much,” she added again.

Emma responded by leaning forward and burying her face in Jane’s chest, her arms wrapped around Jane’s torso. Finn just nodded against Jane’s side. Jane held them close for a few more minutes, hoping to provide at least some comfort, even if she couldn’t offer all the reassurances they needed. As much as she wanted to make it easier, this was going to be a difficult journey for Emma and Finn – for all of them really.

Emma’s stomach grumbled, causing all three of them to giggle. “Why don’t we go back downstairs,” Jane suggested. “You guys can eat lunch with Harper and Sophie, and I’ll talk to mommy.”

“Okay,” they said in unison.

Jane gave each of them a hug before following them out of the room and down the stairs. She had been hoping that Maura had returned while Jane and the girls were upstairs. Jane sighed when she confirmed that Maura wasn’t in the house. She decided to at least see if she could find Maura outside without moving too far away from the house.

Opening the front door, she was surprised to find that Maura was sitting on the front stoop. She had honestly expected Maura to run further. She shut the door and sat down next to Maura.

Maura refused to make eye contact with her, but Jane could tell she had been crying – more likely sobbing.

“I was afraid you might have left,” Jane admitted softly.

“I wish I could say that I was smart enough – or strong enough – to stay because it was the right thing to do, but the truth is, I didn’t really have any other options. I don’t have a car or a cell phone.”

Jane just nodded, not really sure what to say in response to that.

“I would do anything to do that moment over again,” Jane said gently. “I wanted it to go well, for them and for you.”

“The reality is, I abandoned them,” Maura said, her voice breaking. “I don’t blame them for hating me.”

“They don’t hate you, Maura,” Jane said firmly but with as much care as she could. “They love you. They’re just scared and confused.”

Maura let out a humorless laugh. “I should have expected this. The first time I met my biological mother she told me I wasn’t her daughter, so why wouldn’t my biological daughter tell me I’m not her mother.”

“Don’t do that,” Jane said louder than she meant to. She tried to tame the anger that was quickly rising inside her. “That’s not a fair comparison. They are six years old, Maura. Their six-year-old brains can’t handle something this complicated. You know the science behind that better than anyone. I get that it felt similar to you, but it’s not the same. Hope was a fully grown adult. I get that seeing you again was traumatic and difficult and all that – really, I do understand that. I understand better now that I have kids, but a fully grown adult reacting poorly to a traumatic situation is _not_ the same as a six-year-old reacting poorly.” At some point during her rant, Jane had stood up, her anger becoming harder and harder to contain.

“I just spent – I don’t know – 20 minutes trying to convince her that you don’t hate her because of what she said.”

Anger joined the hurt and fear warring behind Maura’s eyes. “I don’t hate her. I could never hate her. I love her. I love both of them,” she nearly screamed.

Jane paused her pacing, burying her face in her hands as she tried to calm herself.

“I know you don’t hate her, Maura,” Jane said. “I know you love them, and _they_ know you love them. They’re just scared.” Jane paused and sat back down on the stoop next to Maura. “They’re afraid you’re here to take them away.”

Maura’s head shot up in surprise. “What do you mean?” she asked, finally making eye contact with Jane. “Where would I take them?”

“I just mean take them away from me, away from their home,” Jane said resignedly.

“I-I-I…Jane, I never intended to come here and tear apart your family. I know that you’re their mother. I just…I’d like to be a part of their lives. I want to get to know them,” Maura said sadly.

At Maura’s words, a flood of tears escaped Jane’s eyes. Despite the fact that she knew that losing the girls was something she worried about, she really hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear that.

“Did you think I would?” Maura asked softly, her voice laced with both concern and fear.

“I don’t know,” Jane admitted, her tears still flowing thick and fast. She tried to wipe them away, but she couldn’t stop the stream. “I never thought you would take then just to hurt me or them. I have always known that you would only want what’s best for them. I just…I was never sure what you would think is best.”

“Jane, I don’t think I could even do that legally,” Maura said.

“Honestly, I’m not sure, but I was more concerned about you _wanting_ to take them away – for a lot of reasons, both practical and emotional.”

“I assure you that taking them away from you – or taking you away from them – was never my intention.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Jane desperately tried to wipe the tears from her face.

“If it’s okay with you, I’d like to tell them that myself when we go back inside,” Maura said quietly, breaking the silence.

Jane nodded. “I think that’s a good idea,” she said. “Maybe we should go back in.”

Maura took a deep breath before responding, “Okay.”

They silently stood up. Jane turned to go back inside, but Maura’s hand on her forearm stopped her.

“Thank you, Jane,” Maura said gently. “Thank you for loving them, for taking care of them. I…you have no idea what it means to me…how much I appreciate it.” Maura let out a nervous laugh. “Honestly, words aren’t enough. What I’m saying sounds…lame…compared to the feelings I’m trying to express.”

Jane smiled and pulled Maura in for a hug. “Thank you for letting me…for trusting me to care for and love them. You have no idea how much _that_ means to me,” she whispered into Maura’s hair.

Stepping back, Jane made eye contact with Maura before adding, “I know none of this is going to be easy. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but I think when it gets hard, we both just need to remember how much we love Emma and Finn…honestly, how much we love all four of the kids and…” Jane paused, “…how much we love each other.”


	5. My Mommy Book

_Maura: June, Present Day_

_They silently stood up. Jane turned to go back inside, but Maura’s hand on her forearm stopped her._

_“Thank you, Jane,” Maura said gently. “Thank you for loving them, for taking care of them. I…you have no idea what it means to me…how much I appreciate it.” Maura let out a nervous laugh. “Honestly, words aren’t enough. What I’m saying sounds…lame…compared to the feelings I’m trying to express.”_

_Jane smiled and pulled Maura in for a hug. “Thank you for letting me…for trusting me to care for and love them. You have no idea how much that means to me,” she whispered into Maura’s hair._

_Stepping back, Jane made eye contact with Maura before adding, “I know none of this is going to be easy. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but I think when it gets hard, we both just need to remember how much we love Emma and Finn…honestly, how much we love all four of the kids and…” Jane paused, “…how much we love each other.”_

Maura smiled and nodded in response to Jane’s words. She wanted to hug Jane again, but she was still unsure about how receptive Jane would be to another hug. It was true that Jane had initiated the physical contact so far, but Maura knew that Jane wasn’t a big fan of touching. Neither was Maura for that matter, except when it came to Jane, and right now, all she wanted was to be in Jane’s arms. She wanted to make up for seven years of hugs as impossible as she knew that was. Eventually, though, she stepped into Jane’s space to give her a hug. Jane returned the hug. When she released Maura from her embrace, Jane opened the front door and led Maura back inside.

Sophie instantly darted off the couch and into Maura’s arms.

“You okay, mommy?” she asked as she leaned back from their hug.

Maura smiled at Sophie. “Yes, sweetie, I’m okay,” she tried to reassure her. Maura stood up with Sophie still in her arms. Looking at Jane, she said, “I just need to talk with Sophie for a few minutes. Then, I’ll talk to the girls.” She held eye contact with Jane, willing her to understand that Maura needed to check on Sophie but that she wasn’t running away.

Jane smiled. “Of course,” she said, offering Maura a wink that let her know that Jane understood her need to check on Sophie.

Maura looked around, trying to find a place to talk to Sophie in private. Jane must have figured out her dilemma because she suggested, “Why don’t you guys step out on the front porch? It’s pretty nice outside today.”

Maura nodded and offered Jane a smile before she carried Sophie out the front door.

Outside, Maura sat back down on the stoop, adjusting Sophie so that she was sitting on her lap facing her. Maura ran her hand through Sophie’s hair, brushing it off her face.

“How are you feeling, darling?” Maura asked softly. She watched Sophie’s face for signs of distress, but more than anything her daughter looked confused.

“I-I-I’m, uh, I’m confused,” she admitted sadly. “You’re Emma, Finn, and Harper’s mommy, too?”

“Do you remember how I told you that I carried you in my tummy?” Maura asked, and Sophie nodded. “Well, I also carried Emma and Finn in my tummy.”

“But then why is Jane their mama?”

“When I gave birth to Emma and Finn, there were some things going on in my life that meant that I couldn’t take care of them the way I wanted or needed to. That changed by the time you came along. I asked Jane to help me, so she became their mom too,” Maura said, trying to keep it as simple as possible for the three-year-old. “So that makes Emma and Finn your sisters.”

“Not Harper?” Sophie asked.

“Jane carried Harper in her tummy,” Maura said fully aware that she was making an assumption, “but since Jane became Emma and Finn’s mom, that made Harper their sister, too. Technically, Harper isn’t your sister, but I think that maybe she could be your sister.”

Sophie looked even more confused than when they started this conversation. Maura sighed. “I know it’s really confusing,” she said to Sophie. “The most important thing to remember is that I love you, and no matter what you call them, Emma, Finn, Harper, and Jane all love you, too.” This seemed to satisfy Sophie, so Maura continued, “We can talk about this more later, but do you want to go back inside and spend more time with them?”

Sophie nodded enthusiastically, a smile returning to her face.

When Maura and Sophie went back inside, Sophie ran back to the couch. It made Maura’s heart sing with love to see her daughter so happy to be with her sisters. Maura knew that Sophie probably didn’t fully understand her relationship to Emma and Finn, let alone Harper, but she still seemed to have an instant connection with all three of them. It was true that Sophie easily got along with everyone, but this was different, this was something more.

However, where Sophie seemed completely comfortable around the three girls, Maura was utterly terrified. This would be the first time she really talked to her two older daughters. This moment _had_ to go well. Maura wasn’t sure she would ever recover if it didn’t. However, if it didn’t go well, Maura would never give up. She survived the last seven years for her daughters, for her family. Still, she wanted them to like her, even if it was only a tenth of a percent of how much she loved them.

Jane looked up when Maura walked into the living room, offering her a reassuring smile.

Maura sat down on the coffee table facing Jane, Emma, and Finn on the couch. Sophie and Harper were on the other couch, which sat perpendicular to this one.

“Would it be okay if I talked to you guys?” she asked gently. She tried not to sound nervous – she didn’t want to make them any more anxious than they already were – but she knew her voice was still trembling.

* * *

_Jane: June, Present Day_

After Maura stepped outside with Sophie, Jane double checked that Emma, Finn, and Harper were still occupied by the TV. She needed a moment to gather herself, so she moved around the corner into the laundry room, which was out of sight of both the living room and the front door. Once she was alone, she sunk down to the floor, leaning her back against the washing machine. She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs, and buried her face in her lap. Her body was instantly wracked with sobs. She let them come, but she still tried to keep quiet in an effort not to alert the girls.

She had barely been keeping it together for the last hour or so. Her best friend, the person that she loved more than anyone along with her daughters, showed up on her front steps unexpectedly. She had hoped and wished for this for seven years, but if she were being honest with herself, she hadn’t ever expected to see Maura again.

She could keep up the façade of calm and strength in front of the girls – she had to – but that didn’t mean she wasn’t coming apart inside. She was so overwhelmed with emotions that she honestly didn’t even know what she was feeling – relief, fear, exhaustion, happiness, love, anxiety. The list goes on and on.

Jane lifted her head and took a deep breath. She wanted to get back to the girls before Maura and Sophie came back inside. She wiped her tears. She knew she couldn’t completely erase the evidence of her breakdown, but this would have to be good enough. At least she was in good company – all of them except Harper and Sophie had cried already.

When Jane returned to the living room, she sat down next to Finn on the couch. Finn was half laying on Emma while Emma leaned against the back of the couch with her hands folded behind her head. Jane smiled as she remembered how Maura used to do that all the time. Harper was sprawled out on the other couch, seemingly oblivious to the emotions swirling around the room.

When Maura and Sophie came back inside, Sophie ran back to the couch. Jane looked up when Maura walked into the living room, offering her a reassuring smile.

Maura sat down on the coffee table facing Jane, Emma, and Finn on the couch. Sophie and Harper were on the other couch, which sat perpendicular to this one.

“Would it be okay if I talked to you guys?” she asked gently.

Finn sat up and looked at Jane. At the same time, Emma brought her hands down to her lap. She was fidgeting with her fingers, but she kept her gaze on Maura. Jane nodded imperceptibly at Finn, who shifted her gaze to Emma. Emma broke eye contact with Maura only long enough to check on her sister before nodding.

Jane watched Maura swallow nervously, but when Maura started talking again, Jane turned her attention to Emma and Finn.

“Your mom told me…” Maura started.

“Mama,” Emma interrupted to correct her. “That’s mama,” she said pointing to Jane, “and you’re mommy.”

Maura smiled. “Sorry, your mama told me that you were worried that I was going to take you away from her,” she said gently. Jane felt both girls shift closer to her unconsciously. “But I wanted to assure you that that will never happen,” Maura continued. “I am not here to take you away from your mama, okay? I love you both very much, and I’d really like to get to know you. I want to be a part of your lives, but only if that’s okay with you. I know this is hard and confusing, and I wish I could make it easier for you both.”

Maura chanced a glance at Jane, who smiled back at her. “I know you have a family, and I’m not trying to take that away from you,” Maura said. “Does that make sense?”

Emma shifted so that she was now sitting on her knees. “But you’re our family, too,” she said, half as a statement, half as a question.

Maura nodded as tears instantly sprung to her eyes at the girl’s words. “Yes, sweetie, we are family. I just meant…” Maura trailed off, looking to Jane for help. She didn’t know how to make what she was trying to say clearer.

Jane stepped in. “Em,” Jane said as she ran her fingers through Emma’s hair. When Emma was looking at her, she continued, “You’re right that mommy and Sophie are family. They always will be – no matter what. Mommy is just trying to tell you that you don’t have to worry. This is your home, and you will always be able to stay with me and Harper. She wants you to know that she really wants a chance to get to know you guys, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to take you away, okay?”

Both girls remained silent for a few moments. Finn kept her eyes on Emma as Emma looked back and forth between Jane and Maura. Finn moved forward so that she was sitting on the edge of the couch. “I love you, mommy,” she said quietly, “but I love mama, too.”

Maura smiled. “I love you, too, both of you,” she said, looking between the two of them. “I’ve missed you so much. You have no idea. And I’m so so glad that you love your mama, too.”

“But we do know,” Emma said confidently. “Mama told us you were sad that you couldn’t be with us, but you don’t need to be sad anymore because now we’re together.”

Tears threatened Maura’s eyes again as she looked at Jane, hoping that Jane could see even a little bit of how grateful she was that Jane had told them that. Jane smiled at her.

“You’re right, sweetie,” Maura said.

Emma’s face suddenly lit up as an idea came to her. “Can we show mommy our mommy book?” Emma asked excitedly, turning to face Jane. Jane could see hope, happiness, and excitement returning to her eyes. How could she ever say no to that face? Especially when all she wanted was to show her mommy something that was special to her? She couldn’t, and she never would.

“Of course, bean,” Jane said, smiling at Emma.

When Emma hopped off the couch, Maura looked at Jane. “What’s a mommy book?” she asked, her face scrunched in confusion.

“I would tell the girls about you a lot when they were little, and they always wanted to see pictures and stuff, so I made a book about you,” Jane explained. Not wanting to make eye contact with Maura, she watched Emma find the book on the bookshelf next to the TV. She was actually very nervous for Maura to see the book. Not that there was anything wrong with it, but it felt a little weird to show Maura a book all about her. Jane felt extremely self-conscious about it. While Emma was gone, Finn moved to sit in Jane's lap.

Emma returned to her seat on the couch next to Jane. She patted the open spot to her right, looking expectantly at Maura. Maura smiled nervously before moving to sit next to Emma. Unsure if Emma would be okay with physical contact, she sat a few inches away from her. Jane tried not to laugh at Maura’s perfect posture. She felt bad that Maura was uncomfortable, but the contrast of Maura’s ramrod straight back and the way the rest of them were plopped on the couch was comical. Jane couldn’t see Emma’s face since she was facing Maura, but she must have had a confused look on her face by the way Maura was looking at her.

Jane sniggered, causing Maura to look up at her, confused. “Just relax, Maur,” she said. Jane gently placed her hand on Maura’s shoulder, guiding her back to sit comfortably on the couch. Emma instantly scooched closer; they still weren’t quite touching, but they looked a lot more natural. Jane moved closer to Emma with Finn still in her lap. Emma leaned against Jane a bit as she opened the book. At the same time, Sophie climbed onto Maura’s lap, and Harper laid across Jane and Finn so that her legs were on the couch, her arms were folded on Jane’s lap, and her chin was resting on Finn’s lap.

“I wanna read, too” Finn whined.

“I asked first,” Emma pouted.

“You guys can both read it, just alternate pages,” Jane said, rolling her eyes.

Emma looked like she was going to argue but decided against it. “Fine,” she said. “But I get to go first.” Emma closed the book to show Maura the cover. “My Mommy Book,” she read. “That’s you,” she added, pointing to Maura in the picture on the cover, which included Jane, Frankie, Tommy, and Frost as well. “That’s uncle Frost, but he died,” she added as she pointed to Frost in the picture.

“She knows, sweetie, why don’t you start,” Jane said gently.

“Okay,” Emma said, opening the book to the first page. “This is…”

“Hey, it’s my turn,” Finn interrupted her sister. “You got to read the cover.”

“Finn, Emma gets to read the first page; then, it will be your turn,” Jane said. “But if you guys keep arguing about it, I’m going to be the one to read it.”

Finn sighed resignedly but stayed silent.

“This is my mommy. Her name is Dr. Maura Dorothea Isles. She is a doctor. She was the youngest Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. My mommy loves me soooooo much,” Emma read. “See, look, mommy, they’re all pictures of you,” she added, pointing unnecessarily to the pictures on the page. Jane had included pictures of Maura throughout her life, including baby and childhood pictures. They spent a few minutes looking at the pictures together before Jane prompted Emma to turn the page.

It was Finn’s turn to read, “My mommy is really smart. She is a genius. But my mommy loves me more than she is smart.” Maura gently ran her finger over a picture of her and Susie smiling in the lab. There were also pictures from Maura’s various graduations and a few from childhood science fairs.

Emma turned the page and continued, “My mommy is very generous. She is always willing to help friends and family. She also supports charities that help people in need. But my mommy loves me more than she is generous.” Emma pointed to the page again. “Look, these are some of the charities you supported,” she said, indicating the logos on the page that were interspersed with photos of Maura at various charity events.

“Next page,” Finn demanded. “My mommy is uber kind. She is nice to everyone. But my mommy loves me more than she is kind.”

“Uber means wiwwy a wot,” Harper piped up. Jane laughed and ran her hand up and down Harper’s back.*

Unable to wait any longer for her turn, Emma turned the page and read, “My mommy is super goofy. She likes to tell people random facts. But my mommy loves me more than she is goofy.”

“My mommy is incredibly brave. She always shows courage even when she is afraid. But my mommy loves me more than she is brave,” Finn read. Jane heard Maura let out a shaky breath. She didn’t want to draw attention to Maura since she knew Maura was probably trying her best to hold back her emotions, so Jane snaked her arm around Emma to place her hand on Maura’s forearm.

Emma shifted so that she was further cuddled into the crook of Jane’s arm and read, “My mommy is unbelievably strong. She always does the right thing even when it’s really hard. But my mommy loves me more than she is strong.” Jane could feel Maura starting to shake slightly, so she rubbed her hand back and forth on Maura’s arm in an attempt to comfort her.

Finn read the next page, “My mommy is an amazing daughter. She loves her mother Constance (Nana), her father Arthur (Grandpa), her mother Hope (Grandma Hope), and her othermother Angela (Nonna). But my mommy loves me more than she is an amazing daughter.”

Harper reached out her hand, pointing her little finger at a picture of Maura, Constance, and Arthur. Maura looked around three or four in the picture. “Look, Sophie, tat’s mommy when she was ouw age.”*

“I know,” Sophie said exasperatedly, but she still turned so that she could better see the pictures on the page.

“And see, that’s nonna and mommy cooking just like nonna cooks with me, Emma, and Harper,” Finn added, pointing to a picture of Maura and Angela in the kitchen of Maura’s old house covered in flour while they made pasta.

Emma held the book slightly higher to give Sophie a better view before continuing with the next page, “My mommy is fantastic sister. She loves her sister Cailin, and her chosen siblings Frankie, Tommy, and Nina. But my mommy loves me more than she is a fantastic sister.”

“My mommy is the best friend in the entire world. She and my mama are best friends. My mommy and my mama both love me more than anything,” Finn said. Then giggling, she read the fine print on the bottom of the page, “My mommy would tell you there is no way to know if she’s the best friend in the world because we don’t know every person in the world, but I know it’s true.”

“Mama says it’s true, and Mama knows everything,” Emma said confidently.

Jane snorted. “I don’t think I know everything,” she said, still laughing slightly, “but I do know that mommy’s the best friend in the whole world.” Jane gave Maura’s arm a light squeeze as she glanced over at her. Maura didn’t return her gaze, and Jane knew that she was barely holding it together.

Not noticing Maura’s silence, Emma continued, “My mommy will always be my mom, and she will always love me. My mommy wanted me, but sometimes things happen that my mommy can’t control. My mommy wanted me, but she wanted what was best for me even more.” When Emma read, “my mommy wanted me,” Maura couldn’t stop the sob that escaped her.

All four girls turned to look at Maura, so Jane quickly tried to redirect them back to the book, “Go on to the next page, bean.” Luckily, her redirection worked.

Everyone returned their attention back to the book as Finn read, “My mama wanted me, too. When my mommy needed help taking care of me and loving me, she asked her best friend to help. She asked my mama to be my mom, too.”

Jane felt bad as she felt Maura’s body shook with sobs. The other woman could no longer hold in her emotions. Jane was starting to regret letting them read the book so soon after Maura returned. She should have known it would probably be too much, but she was so focused on Emma’s request that she hadn’t thought that far ahead. It was too late now, though. She released Maura’s arm and slid her arm behind Maura so that she could rub her upper back in a feeble attempt to offer comfort.

Jane shifted her gaze to watch Maura’s reaction as the girls read the last two pages. “My mommy and my mama both love me more than anything,” Emma read.

“My mommy and my mama love me soooooo much,” Finn finished.

Both girls turned to look at Maura, who was clearly struggling to respond. Maura cleared her throat and took a deep breath. She offered Emma and Finn a small smile and said, “Thank you both so much for sharing your book with me. I loved it. And the book is right, I love you guys so much. I love all four of you so much,” Maura added as she ran her hand over Emma’s hair and squeezed Sophie closer to her.

Maura gently stood up with Sophie. She placed Sophie on the couch next to Emma and kneeled down in front of all four girls. She softly caressed Sophie’s cheek and rubbed Finn’s knee with her other hand. “I’m honored that you guys shared that with me. I’d really like to look at it more with all of you, but is it okay if I talk to mama alone for a little bit?” All four girls nodded.

Recognizing Maura’s need to step away, Jane stood up and placed Finn back on the couch next to Emma. “Why don’t you go upstairs,” Jane said quietly as Maura returned to a standing position. “You can go in my room. It’s the first door on the right when you get to the top of the stairs.” Jane tenderly placed her hand on Maura’s back and lightly pushed her towards the stairs.

When they heard the bedroom door close, Sophie asked softly, “Is mommy okay?”

Jane ran her hand through Sophie’s soft strawberry blond hair. “Yes, sweetie, she’s okay. She just needs a minute, okay?” she said directly to Sophie. Then, addressing all of them again, she said, “Why don’t you guys watch a movie? I’m going to go talk to mommy for a little bit.”

“Can we watch Frozen?” Harper asked excitedly.

“No, I wanna watch Tangled,” Finn said, her attention quickly being diverted from the heaviness of the previous moment.

“Moana!” Emma said, adding her own two cents.

Jane chuckled. At least they were easily entertained. “I think Sophie should get to pick,” she said.

Emma, Finn, and Harper all turned their attention to Sophie, whose eyes were wide. “I-I…uh..I dunno,” she stuttered.

“What’s your favorite movie?” Jane asked.

Sophie just shrugged, her hands upturned as she indicated her indecision.

“Can the three of you please agree?” she asked, turning back to the other girls.

They looked at each other. Without a word, they seemed to come to a decision. Jane wasn’t sure how they did it, but the three of them seemed to be able to hold entire conversations with just their eyes.

“Okay, Moana,” Finn said, and Harper nodded.

Jane put on the movie. “We’ll be upstairs,” she told them. “Just come knock on the door if you need us.”

Finn nodded, but none of the four girls took their eyes off the screen. Jane just rolled her eyes and went upstairs to find Maura.

* * *

Full text of “My Mommy Book”

This is my mommy. Her name is Dr. Maura Dorothea Isles. She is a doctor. She was the youngest Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

My mommy loves me soooooo much.

My mommy is really smart. She is a genius. But my mommy loves me more than she is smart.

My mommy is very generous. She is always willing to help friends and family. She also supports charities that help people in need. But my mommy loves me more than she is generous.

My mommy is uber kind. She is nice to everyone. But my mommy loves me more than she is kind.

My mommy is super goofy. She likes to tell people random facts. But my mommy loves me more than she is goofy.

My mommy is incredibly brave. She always shows courage even when she is afraid. But my mommy loves me more than she is brave.

My mommy is unbelievably strong. She always does the right thing even when it’s really hard. But my mommy loves me more than she is strong.

My mommy is an amazing daughter. She loves her mother Constance (Nana), her father Arthur (Grandpa), her mother Hope (Grandma Hope), and her othermother Angela (Nonna). But my mommy loves me more than she is an amazing daughter.

My mommy is fantastic sister. She loves her sister Cailin, and her chosen siblings Frankie, Tommy, and Nina. But my mommy loves me more than she is a fantastic sister.

My mommy is the best friend in the entire world.* She and my mama are best friends. My mommy and my mama both love me more than anything.  
 _*My mommy would tell you there is no way to know if she’s the best friend in the world because we don’t know every person in the world, but I know it’s true._

My mommy will always be my mom, and she will always love me. My mommy wanted me, but sometimes things happen that my mommy can’t control. My mommy wanted me, but she wanted what was best for me even more.

My mama wanted me, too. When my mommy needed help taking care of me and loving me, she asked her best friend to help. She asked my mama to be my mom, too.

My mommy and my mama both love me more than anything.

My mommy and my mama love me soooooo much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Uber means really a lot.  
> *That’s mommy when she was our age.
> 
> A/N: You’ll start getting some answers in the next chapter now that Jane and Maura have some time to talk alone!


	6. Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for unplanned pregnancy and internal dialogue about possible options.

_Maura: August 7 th, Seven years ago_

There was a time when Maura wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d told her that she would be completely alone on her 40th birthday. However, it had been almost ten years since she’d felt that way. Since Jane became her friend, she hadn’t felt alone. Since Jane became her friend, she never thought she’d spend another birthday or holiday alone. Since Jane became her friend, she thought she’d found her forever family. Even if she was never with Jane quite the way she wanted to be, Jane and by extension all of the Rizzolis were her family.

However, 29 days ago, her life had changed forever, and now she was once again alone. In all likelihood, she would never see Jane again.

Despite being nearly 10am, Maura was still curled under the covers of the hotel room bed. She was seriously contemplating staying there all day until her stomach decided otherwise. She shot out of bed, just making it to the bathroom before she threw up in the toilet. She groaned as she sunk to the floor.

The stress of the last month had really been getting to her, and she wasn’t sure what to do about it. She had been exhausted, which wasn’t a surprise given that she hadn’t been sleeping well. The nausea had started about a week ago and hadn’t let up. She couldn’t keep anything down and even the smell of food sent her running to the bathroom.

She stood up to rinse out her mouth and brush her teeth, but she knew she was likely to throw up again soon, so she returned to sitting on the bathroom floor, her back resting against the tub. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her forehead on her knees. She held herself tighter in an attempt to self-sooth, but she flinched slightly when her thighs pressed against very sore breasts. Her head instantly shot up.

She scrambled to stand from the floor, rushing back to the bedroom to find her phone on which she tracked her cycle until she remembered that she no longer had it. She sat down on the edge of the bed trying to remember when her last period had been. She hadn’t had one since she’d been here, and her menstrual cycle was usually very regular. It was true that stress could disrupt a woman’s cycle, and she had been under an enormous amount of stress. Stress could also cause fatigue and nausea, but so could pregnancy.

She let herself fall back onto the bed but instantly regretted it when her stomach revolted, and she had to rush back to the bathroom.

When her stomach calmed down, she took a shower. As she stood under the falling water, her hand ghosted over her flat stomach. Tears soon joined the shower droplets flowing down her cheeks.

After her shower, she called to ask if a pregnancy test could be brought to her room. It didn’t take long for a box of three tests to be delivered to her door. She opened one, urinated on it, and set it on the counter to wait. She wasn’t sure if there had ever been a longer three minutes in her life.

An excruciating three minutes later, Maura took a deep breath and looked at the test, which read, “pregnant.”

She felt her entire world collapsing around her. She quickly sat down on the ground right where she was standing since she felt lightheaded, and the last thing she needed was to get hurt by passing out. Her body wracked with sobs as she sat alone on the bathroom floor on the morning of her 40th birthday.

Maura had always wanted children, even if she had to do it alone. But she couldn’t do it like this – not now, not with her life so out-of-control. Somehow, she was instantly in love with this baby, even if it was still a tiny embryo. She had no idea what she was going to do. She couldn’t have this baby, but she didn’t think she could terminate the pregnancy either. Maura believed in a woman’s right to choose, but that also meant that she could choose that abortion wasn’t right for her, no matter what her life circumstances.

Finally calming down, Maura returned to the bedroom. She knew she had some calls to make, and she knew who she had to call first.

She was still spending her 40th birthday alone, but maybe not as alone as she had originally thought.

* * *

_Maura: June, Present Day_

As soon as she closed the door to Jane’s bedroom behind her, she sunk to the ground, curled herself into a ball in the middle of the floor, and broke down completely.

In all honesty, she couldn’t have hoped for a better reception from Jane and the girls for her and Sophie. Still, all of this was more than she could handle. She had hoped for this day for seven years, and in the three weeks since she found out she could return to Boston, she had thought of little else. She had spent every night falling asleep thinking of Sophie and her two older sisters; she had spent hours picturing what her now six-year-old girls would look like, what it would feel like to hold them again, and how they would react to her; and she had seen Jane in her dreams nearly every night.

Maura was so lost in thought that she didn’t hear the bedroom door open, but she lifted her head when she felt Jane sit down next to her and wrap her arms around her. Jane didn’t say anything as she held Maura, resting her head on Maura’s shoulder. Maura leaned her head against Jane with her cheek pressed against Jane’s hair. They sat like that for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.

Finally, Jane broke the silence. “I’m getting a little old to sit on the floor for so long,” she joked.

Maura laughed but conceded her point. “I suppose the floor isn’t really the best place for this conversation,” she admitted.

Jane stood up and held her hand out to help Maura stand. “It’s going to be okay,” Jane offered her reassurance.

Maura only responded with a weak smile. She wanted Jane to be right, but she wasn’t sure if Jane would feel the same way after she learned the truth.

Jane walked over to her bed. Gesturing for Maura to sit down, she said, “Sorry, I don’t really have a better place we can talk. At least I made the bed today.” Jane laughed nervously as she sat down. “But with the girls downstairs, they’d pretty much be able to hear us anywhere down there, so that cuts out the dining room and kitchen. Upstairs, it’s just bedrooms, so...” Jane trailed off.

“It’s really fine, Jane,” Maura said as she sat on Jane’s bed. She was somewhat uncomfortable, but she didn’t want Jane to know that. Maura just didn’t like the thought of sitting in the spot probably Jane shared with her boyfriend or even husband. It was one thing when she knew who Jane was dating; she always knew where she stood in comparison to Jane’s old boyfriends, whether it was Casey or Dean or whomever else. Now though, she had no idea where she stood with Jane, and she had even less of an idea of who Jane shared her life with. Maura’s jealousy wasn’t fair to Jane though, and she knew it.

When they were both sitting against the headboard, Maura admitted, “I don’t know where to start.”

“Honestly, me neither,” Jane admitted.

“I know I need to tell you what happened, why I left, and where I’ve been,” Maura said. “And I will, but can we start with something easier?” This probably wasn’t a fair request. Maura owed Jane the truth, and she would tell Jane everything she wanted to know. She knew it would be better – or at least easier for her – if they worked up to it a bit.

“Well, why don’t you ask me something you want to know?” Jane asked.

“I don’t know where to start,” Maura repeated.

“Okay, start with the most neutral thing you wanna know,” Jane suggested.

Maura thought in silence for a few seconds before saying, “I was surprised by their names.” Jane’s eyebrows shot up in a mixture of surprise and maybe fear – Maura wasn’t quite sure. “Sorry,” Maura said quickly. “I love their names. What I meant was, Emma, Finley, and even Harper aren’t the types of names I would have expected you to pick. I really do love their names. This isn’t coming out the way I intended,” she added self-consciously.

Jane laughed, calming Maura’s nerves a bit. “It’s okay, I understand what you’re saying, and I’m not offended,” she said. “You’re not even close to the first person to say that. Apparently, everyone expected me to choose gender-neutral names.” Jane shrugged before continuing, “Alexandra was on my list when Harper was born, and I probably would have called her either Alex or Lexi.”

“I thought you would either pick gender-neutral names, traditional names, or possibly Italian names,” Maura said.

“Yeah, I guess I can see that,” Jane said. She shrugged before continuing, “These were just the names I liked. I don’t really know how to explain it.”

Maura smiled. “You don’t have to explain anything,” she said. “I just…well, honestly, I spent a lot of time over the years wondering what their names might be, and I never would have guessed any of the three. That’s not a bad thing. They’re names are beautiful, and I love them.”

“Actually, when Finn was a baby, I was _adamant_ that we were going to call her Finley not Finn,” Jane said, smiling at the memory.

“What changed?” Maura asked. This conversation was definitely helping her feel more comfortable. She was grateful that they could start with a relatively neutral topic.

“Emma learned to talk,” Jane replied with a laugh. “Emma always called her Finn; then, she started introducing herself as Finn. Eventually, everyone else called her Finn as well.”

“Does it bother you?” Maura asked.

“No,” Jane said. “Plus, it seems to fit her. Your mom still calls her Finley sometimes, but she’s pretty much the only person Finn allows to do so. Other than when she gets ‘full named’ when she’s in trouble, that is.” Jane chuckled at her last comment.

“What are their full names?” Maura asked curiously, realizing she hadn’t heard their middle names yet.

“Emma Angela and Finley Grace,” Jane said. “I always knew I’d use Angela as a middle name if I ever had a daughter, but I wanted to use something from your family for the second middle name. Finley Constance was a bit too much of a mouthful, so I used your grandmother’s name. I thought about using your name, but I couldn’t give it to one of them and not the other.”

Maura nodded. She wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I actually wanted to give them both of our last names,” Jane continued softly. Her voice was laced with vulnerability. “But the lawyer said I couldn’t do that.”

Maura took a deep breath. She had honestly hoped to have a little more time before telling Jane the truth, but maybe this was the best lead in she was going to get. Maura stared at her hands, her fingers playing nervously with the ring on her right-hand. “I know,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“You knew I tried to give them your last name?” Jane asked, confusion crossing her face.

“No,” Maura said. “I wasn’t allowed to know anything after…after I gave them up. I knew that you wouldn’t be allowed to give them my last name if you had tried.”

Jane reached over and still Maura’s fidgeting hands. Giving Maura’s hands a gentle squeeze, Jane offered, “It’s okay, Maura. Just tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”

Maura glanced up at Jane. Even though she could barely see through the thick tears threatening to fall, Maura knew that Jane meant what she said. With a quick nod, Maura looked back at her lap before starting.

“They couldn’t have my last name because it would have put them in danger,” Maura admitted.

“Are they in danger now?” Jane asked quickly, sitting up in her panic.

Maura instinctively reached out to calm Jane. “No, Jane, they’re not. I promise they’re not. I wouldn’t have come back if it would put them in danger,” Maura said, her voice firm with conviction. She needed Jane to know that she would never put any of their kids in danger.

Jane nodded. “Sorry, I know you wouldn’t put them in danger. I just…” Jane trailed off.

“It’s okay,” Maura said with a soft smile. “I guess I should start at the beginning. I suppose the first thing you should know is that I’ve been in the witness security program for the last seven years.” Maura looked back at Jane to gauge her reaction.

“I know,” Jane replied.

‘What?!” Maura exclaimed, her voice louder than she intended. “I don’t understand. No one was supposed to know.” Maura was shocked at Jane’s admission, but the smirk on Jane’s face confused her even more.

“I really want to know what idiot thought that I wouldn’t look for you if you just disappeared without a trace,” Jane said. “I don’t know anything else. I don’t know why you were in witsec or where you’ve been. Literally, the only thing I know is that you were in witsec.”

Maura’s eyes were wide in shock, and her mouth hung open lamely as she tried to wrap her head around the fact that Jane knew even that much.

“After you disappeared, I tried to find you. Maybe a little too obsessively. For over two weeks, I lived at the precinct, spending every waking moment looking for you,” Jane admitted. “Two and a half weeks after you disappeared, two FBI agents and a witsec agent showed up at the precinct asking to talk to me. They told me that you were in the program but that nobody was supposed to know. They said they were telling me because they needed me to stop looking for you. They said that by looking for you, I was putting you in danger because the people trying to kill you could piggyback off my search to find you. It took them a while to convince me that they were legitimate and not just trying to trick me. Eventually, though, they gave me just enough information that I believed them without giving me information about where you were or what case you were involved in.”

“I can’t believe you looked for me,” Maura whispered. “I always thought…I didn’t think anyone knew…”

Jane snorted in laughter, but then she turned somber. “Really, you didn’t think I’d look for you?” she asked sadly. “Maura, you were the most important person in my life when you disappeared. Even after all this time, you’re still one of the most important people in my life, along with the kids. I will _always_ look for you unless it puts you or the kids in danger.”

Maura could no longer stop the tears that had been threatening to fall since the beginning of this conversation.

“I hate that all this time, you thought I didn’t care,” Jane said sadly as a few tears escaped her own eyes.

Maura shook her head. “I knew you cared, Jane. Of course, I knew you cared. If I didn’t, I never would have left the girls with you,” she said through her tears. “I don’t know how to explain my feelings about you and about leaving you. But I _never_ thought you didn’t care.”

Jane nodded. “I don’t understand what the kids have to do with this, though,” Jane said. “Were you pregnant before you left? Or did you get pregnant in the program? Why weren’t they safe with you? And if Emma and Finn weren’t safe with you, why was Sophie?”

Maura sighed. Jane had just thrown a lot of questions at her at one time, but they were all questions she had expected.

“Do you remember when we went to that mystery writers’ conference?” Maura said slowly.

“Yes, Maura, I remember the last night I saw my best friend,” Jane said, some annoyance creeping into her voice. “We went to the Dirty Robber after. Ma, Frankie, and Kent went to that concert and met us there.”

“And Kent ordered us whisky,” Maura added.

“Okay, I remember drinking. I don’t really remember what we drank,” Jane said.

“The point is we were drinking something stronger than we usually would have,” Maura said. “You left before me because you were uncomfortable in your dress.”

Jane’s head snapped up, and Maura saw guilt flash across her face.

“Jane,” Maura said firmly, “none of this is your fault. Please, I need you to know that. I need you to believe that,” Maura was pleading now. She hated the idea that Jane might blame herself for any of what Maura was about to tell her.

Jane nodded. Maura knew Jane hadn’t let go of all the guilt, but she needed to get this out, so she continued, “Anyway, I was the last one there, and I was just about to leave when three men walked in and sat down at the bar. One of them…” Maura paused as her face flushed with embarrassment, “…one of them smiled at me and offered to buy me a drink. I accepted and we ended up talking for hours. When the bar was closing, he invited me back to his place. We had sex. A lot of sex, and one time, the condom broke.”

“Weren’t you on birth control?” Jane asked.

“No,” Maura admitted. “I hadn’t told you yet, but since I was nearing 40, I was exploring my options to have a child on my own. I had gone off birth control because if I decided to try to conceive using in vitro or artificial insemination, I would need to be off the medication for at least a few months. I did not plan for it to happen from a one-night stand, but…well, it did.”

“Okay,” Jane said. “But I still don’t understand how…”

“I know,” Maura cut her off. “I’m getting there. It wasn’t supposed to be more than a one-night stand, so we only exchanged first names. I didn’t know who he was, and he didn’t know who I was. He introduced himself as Mark and that was it. Anyway, I intended to leave right after sex, but I fell asleep. At some point during the night, his phone rang. I woke up but he must not have noticed. He stepped outside the bedroom to talk, but I could still hear him. He was speaking very quietly…”

“But you have Vulcan hearing,” Jane interjected. She laughed at the confused expression on Maura’s face. “It just means you can hear really well. Anyway, go on.”

“He was speaking quietly, and he was speaking Italian,” Maura continued. “I think between thinking I was asleep, thinking I couldn’t hear him even if I was, and thinking I didn’t speak Italian even if I could hear him, he didn’t think he needed to worry.”

“What did you hear?” Jane asked.

“A lot of things I never wanted to know. I will tell you more later if you want to know specifics, but for now it’s not important to the story,” Maura said.

“Who was this guy?” Jane asked.

“Marco Salvagio,” Maura answered simply, and as she expected, Jane’s eyebrows shot up in shock as she recognized the name.

“From the Salvagio crime family?” Jane asked, sitting up straight again. “Wait, were you the secret witness?” Jane’s voice got higher as she spoke.

“Yes,” Maura said.

“I heard about that case,” Jane said, almost to herself. “I didn’t realize…I didn’t know…”

“And you weren’t supposed to know,” Maura said. “you couldn’t know – for your own safety.”

“So, Marco Salvagio is Emma and Finn’s…”

“Yes,” Maura said nervously. She knew deep down that Jane would still love the girls no matter who their biological father was, but she was still afraid of Jane’s reaction. “He’s their biological father.”

Maura expected a lot of different possible reactions from Jane when she learned this particular piece of information, except for the one she got. To her surprise, Jane burst out laughing, falling back onto the bed as laughter shook her body.

“Jane!” Maura said indignantly. “It’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry,” Jane choked out through her laughter. “I know I shouldn’t laugh. I’m not laughing at you, or what you meant through. I’m not trying to make light of the trauma that you went through.”

“Why are you laughing?”

Jane sat back up and turned to face Maura “I’m sorry,” she said. “I…it’s just…it’s…Emma and Finn could rule Boston one day if they wanted to.”

“What?” Maura asked, her face scrunched in confusion. She honestly could not follow Jane’s train of thought. She wasn’t really offended. She knew that Jane wasn’t laughing at what had happened. She was also aware that Jane’s life had been altered just as much as hers had by what happened, and this was just part of how Jane dealt with it. Still, she was confused.

“Technically, Emma and Finn are descendants of the Irish Mob and the Italian Mafia,” Jane explained. “Blood is all that matters in those families. If they wanted to take up a life of crime one day, they’d be well respected in both families.”

“Jane,” Maura whined. “That’s…that’s terrible.” It’s not that Maura didn’t know who the girls were related to, but she’d never thought about it quite like that. Jane must have been able to see Maura’s distress on her face.

Jane shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” Jane said gently. “Come on, Maur. We both know it doesn’t matter. They’re _our_ daughters. That’s all that matters. Besides, they’d both be terrible criminals, so I don’t think we have anything to worry about. They’re supposed to read 20 minutes per day at home for school. That’s their primary homework in kindergarten. They both read way more than that. They love to read. One day though, they only read for 15 minutes or something like that. I don’t really remember why. We were probably just busy. Anyway, I still signed their papers saying they had read every day. Honestly, I wasn’t really thinking about it. Like I said, they read all the time, so I never sat there and tallied up how long they read each day. Well, the next day, I got a call from school because when Finn realized that her reading log was wrong, she freaked out. She was so afraid that she had cheated. The teacher tried to assure her that it wasn’t a big deal, but she was so distressed that the teacher ended up calling me. It took every ounce of self-control that I had not to laugh.

“They’re both like that. They can’t get away with anything because they’re so conscientious,” Jane continued. “Just like their mom,” she added, poking Maura’s arm to emphasize her point. “They’re good kids – really good kids. It doesn’t matter who their biological father is, just like it doesn’t matter who your biological father is.”

Maura nodded. She knew that Jane was right. Of course, she did. It didn’t matter to her who Emma and Finn’s biological father was. She loved them no matter what. Jane was right; Emma and Finn were _their_ daughters. That’s what mattered.

“Did you think I’d care?” Jane asked, some of the vulnerability from earlier returning to her voice.

Maura shook her head. “No,” she said. “I knew you would love them no matter what. I never thought that who their biological father was would change how you thought of them.”

“But?” Jane prompted.

“But I was afraid somewhat afraid you’d be angry with me.”

“I’m not,” Jane said. “I’m not angry with you for who their biological father is, but I’m still a little confused.”

“About what? I’ll answer any questions you have,” Maura said firmly.

“Wouldn’t witsec offer protection to them, as well?”

Maura sighed. “Yes,” she said resignedly. “And I suppose this is the part that has been the most difficult for me. It’s also the part that might make you hate me. I also know it’s the part that will be most difficult for Emma and Finn.”

“Maura, you’re rambling. Just tell me.”

“Witsec would have protected the girls, but the truth is, I didn’t trust them,” Maura said, tears once again running down her cheeks. “I know witsec has a really good track record of keeping witnesses and their families alive, but they still would have been legally tied to me and that would put them in danger. I was terrified that if someone in the Salvagio family found me, they would kill the girls too or take them.”

Maura let out a humorless laugh. “I know I never make decisions using my intestines, but this time I did. Every instinct I had was telling me that they wouldn’t be safe with me. I refused to testify while I was pregnant because I didn’t want them to know about the girls. The family doesn’t even know they exist. I know that you know that I’m their biological mother, and I know they know that. Based on how open you’ve been with them, I’m also assuming our family and friends know.

“Still, they were safer with you. There is no legal connection or paper trail that ties them to me. It wasn’t a perfect plan, but it seemed to be the safest option. It was highly unlikely they would find out about the girls connection to me if they didn’t know they existed to begin with and there was no legal connection.”

“I could never hate you for doing what you thought was right to protect them,” Jane said quietly.

“I made a choice though,” Maura said. “And you didn’t have that chance. I didn’t give you a choice in all of this. I mean, I know that legally you could have said no, but I also knew you’d never do that. My choice also put you in some danger, even if it was minimal. If the family did somehow find out about the girls…”

“Maura, don’t go there. You know I would do anything to protect them and to protect you. I would always, _always_ want you to do what was safest for them, even if it’s just the least bad option among a lot of bad options. We agreed a long time ago that if something ever happened to one of us, the other would take care of our kids,” Jane said. “I remember because we were sitting on that motorcycle you helped Frankie fix up.”

“Technically, you asked me to take care of your child if something happened to you since you were the one that was pregnant at that time. I never asked you.”

“I guess I kinda assumed it went both ways, but maybe that was a bit presumptuous of me,” Jane said. “I’m not sure that really matters though. What matters is that the girls are safe and loved – by both of us. I could never hate you for giving me a chance to be their mom. They’re the best thing that ever happened to me – all four of those kids downstairs are.”

Maura nodded.

“Yeah, Emma and Finn will eventually have to work through what all of this means for them, but we have some time before we need to tell them the full story,” Jane continued. “For now, they just need to know that they’re loved – again, by both of us.”

Maura started crying again as she remembered the book Jane had made the girls. “I can’t believe you made them that book,” she said. “I never expected…well, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I didn’t know what they would know about me. But that book…you’ve done so much to make sure they know they’re loved and wanted.”

“I never wanted to lie to them about where they came from,” Jane said. “Although, I have to admit that I may have made a different decision had I known the full story. If it was safer for them not to know…anyway, we can’t do anything about that now. Plus, nothing happened to them. They’re safe and happy and loved _and wanted._ And they know it.”

“I understand, and honestly, I wish you would have had the option to make what you thought was the best choice for them. I wasn’t given a choice about what to tell you or not tell you, though.”

“That part aside,” Jane said, “I think it’s better for them to know about you. Honestly, I saw how your past affected you. I never wanted them to feel like you did, especially because I knew it wasn’t true. The book was definitely their favorite way to talk about you, but it wasn’t the only way we talked about you. I tried to make sure you were always a part of their lives.”

“Thank you,” Maura said quietly. “I just…just, thank you.”

“Come here,” Jane said, holding out her arms to request a hug from Maura. After their hug ended, Jane added, “I know there are still a few things we need to talk about before we go back downstairs to the girls, but I really need to use the bathroom.”

Maura laughed and nodded at Jane. While Jane made her way to the ensuite bathroom, Maura sat back against the headboard. She was feeling emotionally exhausted, and she knew Jane was too. This was a lot for both of them. However, despite her exhaustion, she was felling better than she had in a really long time. For the first time since the pregnancy test was positive – for the first time since her 40th birthday – she felt like everything might just be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now you know. Also, I know that there are some flaws in the witsec process of the story, but it’s REALLY hard to find information on witsec. I did the best I could, but I do realize that the explanation of why the girls weren’t in danger knowing that Maura was their mother just because it wasn’t a legal link is weak and I know that the part about Jane being so easily convinced by the FBI to stop looking for Maura is also unlikely, but please just go with it. The point of this story is about what family means. The crime and Maura’s time in witsec isn’t supposed to be the point.


	7. Home

_Jane: June, Present Day_

After using the bathroom, Jane paused at the sink. She leaned forward against the counter, resting most of her weight on her hands as she let her head hang down. She was exhausted. Today had been completely different than she had planned for. They were going to go to Target and the grocery store. Instead, their entire world was flipped on its head. It wasn’t a bad thing, necessarily. In most ways, it was a good thing. She had longed to see Maura since the day she disappeared. Jane didn’t know it was possible to miss someone so much until Maura was gone. But now, Maura was here, and she was okay – or at least as okay as could be expected given the situation. Maura was back, and together they had four beautiful, amazing daughters.

All of this was good, the stressful part was when Jane started to think about what comes next. She had no idea, really, what Maura wanted from her – or more accurately, _for them_. She knew that Maura wanted to get to know Emma and Finn, and she knew that Maura wasn’t here to take them away. Those were, of course, the most important things. But what did all of this mean for Harper and Sophie? What did it mean for her and Maura?

Jane sighed and pushed herself off the counter, knowing Maura was going to start to wonder what she was doing if she didn’t go back soon.

When Jane walked back into the bedroom, she stopped for a minute to look at Maura. She hadn’t really _looked_ at her since she’d gotten here. Maura was sitting against the headboard, her legs stretched in front of her crossed at the ankles. She had on a white blouse paired with a navy-blue pencil skirt. Her matching blue heels were neatly sitting on the floor next to the bed. In all honesty, Maura didn’t look that different than she did when Jane last saw her, despite the nearly seven years that had passed. Her hair was a little shorter than Jane remembered Maura usually wearing it, but it was still the same honey blonde with soft waves throughout. Her face showed a few more worry lines, but they were just barely noticeable. The truth was Maura was just as beautiful as ever. When Maura looked up, noticing Jane’s return, she smiled softly at Jane. At the sight, Jane felt the once-common flutter in her stomach – something she hadn’t felt in nearly seven years.

Realizing she had been caught staring, Jane gently shook her head, offering a soft, “sorry,” before she made her way back to the bed.

“Um, can I ask, where are you guys staying?” Jane questioned as she sat back down next to Maura.

“We have an apartment,” Maura said, purposely offering as little information as possible, “but it’s just temporary. I’m hoping to find something more permanent as soon as possible.”

“Okay, but where is your apartment?” Jane asked, but before Maura could respond, she continued, “I guess what I’m really trying to figure out is where we go from here. Like, what do you see as the next step?”

“Honestly,” Maura said slowly, “today has already been more than I had dared hope for. I don’t really know what comes next because I thought it would take us a lot longer to get to this point.”

Jane tilted her head, clearly deep in thought. “I’m not sure I understand,” she admitted. “I mean, we still have a long way to go.”

“I know, but I wasn’t even sure if you would let me in the door. And if you did, I figured we’d talk for half an hour then decide we needed more time before we could really talk.”

“Do you need more time?” Jane asked.

“No, but I’ve known for a little over three weeks that we could return to Boston,” Maura said. “I’ve had time to process what that could potentially mean. You haven’t had that same opportunity. We literally just showed up on your doorstep with no warning. I’d completely understand if you need more time to decide how you want us to be a part of your lives.”

“But Maura, you’re already a part of our lives,” Jane said honestly. “I’ve had seven years apart, and I _really_ don’t want any more.”

“Honestly, me neither,” Maura said with a smile. “I’m still not really sure where that leaves us.”

“We don’t need to figure it all out right now. We just need to figure out the next step. Which leads me back to my original question of where you guys are living, but I’m getting the feeling that you don’t want to tell me. I’m just not really sure of the reason. If it’s because you don’t want us to just show up there, then that’s fine. Just tell me that.”

“No,” Maura said quickly, waving her hands in front of her to emphasize her point. “No, Jane, that’s not it at all. I’m sorry you thought that. It’s…I guess I’m just slightly embarrassed.”

“Of what?” Jane asked, surprised. “You’re talking to me, the blue-collar cop from a working-class family. I grew up in South Boston. What the hell am I going to judge you about? We’re living here…” Jane gestured to the room and by extension the house around them, “…because of your money. Which, by the way, we need to talk about because I really hope you didn’t think you needed to leave me money to take them in. You didn’t have to pay me to take care of them, to love them.”

“Oh, Jane, I never thought that,” Maura assured her. “When I went into witsec, I had to give up my entire life. That included all my assets. I wanted it to go to you right away, but there were some legal complications with that. Technically, it should have gone to my next of kin, which was my parents, regardless of my wishes or my living will. I argued with the agents. In the end, it was significantly easier to have it go to you at the same time as custody of the girls was transferred to you.”

“I thought that might be the case,” Jane said. “It seems like it would be pretty easy to find someone spending money the way you used to, which incidentally, is one of the ways I tried to find you when you first disappeared.”

Maura couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Well, they also don’t give you much when you leave the program, and what they do give you is based on the cost of living in your current location. The cost of living in rural Utah is a lot less than the cost of living in Boston.”

“You were in Utah?” Jane exclaimed in surprise.

Maura laughed again. “Yes, just outside Salt Lake City,” she said. “I worked in the morgue of the county hospital. Anyway, the point is, I didn’t have much to put towards a place to live. All of our potential assets in Utah – the house, car, even my cell phone – were owned by witsec.”

“The point being, you’re living in a crappy apartment in a dangerous part of town?” Jane asked.

Maura’s shoulders fell in defeat. “Yes,” she said resignedly, “but it’s only temporary – until I can get back on my feet.”

“Maura, I’m not asking in order to judge you,” Jane said. “You’re doing your best in a crappy situation, and honestly, you’re prolly doing a helluva lot better than most people would be if they were in your place. I’m just asking because I care about you and Sophie, and I want you to be safe.”

“I know, and I know I shouldn’t get so defensive.”

“You also realize that all this is coming back to you, right?” Jane asked. “This is all your money.”

“No!” Maura said quickly. “Not a chance. I did not come back here for the money, and I _never_ want you or anyone to think I did. That money is yours now.”

Jane opened her mouth to argue, but Maura cut her off. “Absolutely not,” Maura said firmly. “This is not something I’m willing to debate.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Is this how I sounded to you all those years?” she quipped, and Maura couldn’t help the smile that escaped despite her best efforts to remain firm. “Okay, I think we can at least agree that regardless of whose money it is, the most important thing is that the girls have what they need.”

“Yes, I agree,” Maura said. “But…”

“No, there’s no buts. We can argue about whose money it is later, but for now we’re at least going to make sure you and Sophie have somewhere safe to live. You also have to have a car, cell phone, and insurance. Can you at least agree that ‘the money’ can be used for that?” Jane asked, using her fingers to make air quotes as she said, ‘the money.’

“What exactly do you suggest?” Maura asked, not quite willing to give in on this point yet. Of course, she thought that Sophie needed and deserved a safe place to live. She just wasn’t sure this was the right way to go about it.

“Well, I have a couple of options in mind,” Jane said. She paused because even though she didn’t want Maura to know this, she really, _really_ wanted Maura to go along with her preferred suggestion. “The most hands-off approach would be to just transfer some money into your name – or actually probably the easiest is to just add you to my account. Then, you could get what you needed to. If you don’t like that, you can just decide what you need, and I’ll just pay for it. To start with, you could stay at a hotel, get a cell phone and a car, and look for a more permanent place. But…”

“But what?” Maura asked.

“I think you guys should stay here,” Jane said quickly. “I won’t be offended if you don’t want to – I get that it might be too much too soon, but I think maybe it could be good. We have plenty of room. It would give you a chance to figure out what you want next, and it would give Sophie a chance to get to know her sisters. It would give all of us a chance to get to know each other – to be a family – because regardless of how unconventional it might be, we’re a family.”

Jane’s heart sank when Maura looked away from her with tears in her eyes. She knew it was a big ask, but that hadn’t stopped her from hoping.

* * *

_Maura: June, Present Day_

Maura broke eye contact with Jane. She hadn’t expected Jane’s offer. She wasn’t surprised that Jane had offered to pay for a better place to live, but she had not expected Jane to suggest she and Sophie move in with them. A whirlwind of emotions flooded her system when she heard Jane’s words, especially when Jane said they were family. There was no doubt in Maura’s mind that Jane was her family – and obviously, the girls were her family – but she wasn’t expecting Jane to still feel that way. Honestly, she was expecting Jane to have moved on from her.

The idea simultaneously excited her and terrified her. On the one hand, was there anything better than living with her family – with Jane, with all the kids? On the other hand, what if it went wrong? The consequences were so huge if they couldn’t make this work. Not the sharing a house part – they could always live separately later on – but if they couldn’t figure out how to be a family, then what? But was that really dependent on where they lived? Not really, the possibility of them falling apart, of losing their family, that existed regardless of where Maura and Sophie lived.

Maura realized that she had been silent for too long and that Jane had misinterpreted her silence when Jane started to backtrack. “Really, I won’t be offended if you don’t want to,” Jane said, her voice laced with vulnerability. “I just…”

“Jane,” Maura cut her off. “I wasn’t hesitating because I didn’t like the idea.” Maura reached out to take Jane’s hand in hers. “I’m just scared. It almost seems…I don’t know…too good to be true, if you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Jane said quietly. “I just feel like we’ve already lost so much, I don’t want to lose more just because we’re scared. And don’t get me wrong, I’m terrified, too. You and those girls downstairs…you mean everything to me. If I lost you again…” Now it was Jane’s turn to break eye-contact as tears filled her eyes.

Maura gently squeezed Jane’s hand in an attempt to get Jane to look at her again.

“Jane, I don’t want to lose you either,” Maura said gently as Jane continued to avoid making eye contact with her. “I think maybe you’re right though.” This made Jane turn back to look at Maura again. “We’re already lost so much – and not just time. I don’t want to miss out on more – with you or with the girls – just because I’m scared. But we _have_ to promise to keep talking. We have to promise to ‘love each other even when we hate each other.’”

Jane smirked. “You watched Grey’s Anatomy,” she said.

Maura laughed, glad that Jane had picked up on her reference – she was slightly more proud of herself than she should have been. “Yes, I had a lot of time to watch TV, especially when I first left,” she said. “If we did this…if Sophie and I stayed here, what would that look like?”

“Well, we have a guest room, so that could become your room. Then, I guess it’s up to you whether you think it would be better for Sophie to stay in your room with you or if she should share a room with Harper. I’m also open to other suggestions. The basement’s finished, but it’s not set up to be a bedroom. We could figure out a way to make it one though if you really wanted Sophie to have her own space.”

“She doesn’t necessarily need her own space, at least not in the short term,” Maura said. “I don’t want this to disrupt Emma, Finn, or Harper’s lives though.”

“I mean their lives are going to change now that you guys are here regardless of whether you live here or somewhere else, but that’s not a bad thing.”

“I know. What I meant was, I don’t want Harper to have to give up any of her space. I don’t want any of the to have to give up what’s theirs just because we’re here.”

Jane waved her hand in the air as if to wave away Maura’s concern. “Honestly, of all of the options, my preference would be for Sophie and Harper to share a room, but I don’t want you to make a decision about what’s best for Sophie based on what I want.”

Maura tilted her head. “You don’t think Harper would be upset?” she asked.

“No, I don’t,” Jane said. “I think she’d be ecstatic, but even if she was upset, she’s three and I still get to decide what’s best for her. It would be really good for her to share a room. But seriously, you should decide based on what’s best for Sophie because not sharing a room isn’t going to harm Harper at all, either.”

“I actually think it would be really good for Sophie, too,” Maura admitted.

“So, are we going to do this?” Jane asked excitedly.

Maura smiled. “I think it might be worth a try,” she said. “But can I ask you a couple of questions first?”

“Yeah,” Jane replied quickly.

“This isn’t really related to living here, but it’s been weighing on me,” Maura continued. “How is…um…is everyone…how are all of our family and friends doing – overall, I mean.”

Luckily, Jane seemed to understand what Maura was really asking. “All of our closest family and friends are still alive and doing well. We’ve been fortunate. No one’s had any major illness or anything like that. Well, except pop, I suppose. He died a couple of years ago, but everyone else is okay. Your parents are doing well, and they’re great grandparents. They actually moved back to Boston just after Harper was born. They live about 10 minutes away from here. Ma also lives close, and she’s just as overbearing as ever. Hope is also involved in the girls’ lives, and she’s doing well. She still works at MEND. Frankie and Nina are doing well. They both still work at BPD, and they have two kids. Michael is two months older than Emma and Finn.”

“Oh, so Nina was pregnant before I left,” Maura said surprised.

“Yeah, they didn’t even know yet, though. Also, their youngest, Bella, is…” Jane paused to count months on her fingers, “…20 months old. Tommy’s still single, but he and TJ are doing great. TJ’s a really good kid. Honestly, if he didn’t look exactly like Tommy and we didn’t have a DNA test that said he was Tommy’s kid, I would never believe he came from Tommy and Lydia.”

“Jane!” Maura chastised Jane, playfully slapping her arm. “You don’t give Tommy enough credit.”

Jane laughed. “I know, I know, sorry. Anyway, Cailin is almost done with her residency in emergency medicine. She’s five months pregnant with a little boy. His name is Oliver William. Cailin’s no longer with the baby’s dad, but they broke up on good terms. Cailin and Grant will be really good co-parents, I think. Uh, who else…oh, Korsak and Kiki are still married, and they love being grandparents to all our kids. Um, Nina’s mom Catherine also moved to Boston, maybe a year or two after Michael was born…I don’t remember exactly when.

“Oh, there’s one thing I just thought of,” Jane continued. “You may have noticed that Harper calls you mommy…” Jane trailed off uncertainly. “She knows you’re not her mom in the same way your Emma and Finn’s mom. Like she could explain it to you, but I don’t think she _really_ understands what she’s saying. I say that because she doesn’t understand that your parents aren’t her grandparents the same way they are Emma and Finn’s grandparents.”

“Well, since I was adopted, technically...” Maura started, but Jane cut her off.

“I know, I know, but my point is still valid. Her understanding about her grandparents indicates that she doesn’t fully understand her relationship to you, despite the fact that she can explain it.”

“Does that bother you?” Maura asked.

“No, but I guess I’m asking if it bothers you,” Jane replied.

“It doesn’t bother me,” Maura said. “I’m not sure what Sophie thinks about all this though. Not Harper specifically, but just anyone else calling me mom.”

“She didn’t know about Emma and Finn?” Jane asked gently.

Maura shook her head. “I planned to tell her when she was older, assuming we were still in witsec,” Maura said. “But I always remembered what Cailin said about growing up in the shadow of a dead baby. I never wanted Sophie to feel like she was replacing her sisters, so I wanted to wait until she was old enough to understand. I thought about telling her when I told her we were coming to Boston, but honestly, I chickened out. I was afraid something might have happened to one or both of them; then, I’d have to explain that too. It was just too much.”

“I get that,” Jane said. “I know you probably need to talk to Sophie about all of this, but in the meantime, I’d rather not try to change what they call you unless you really want me to or you think Sophie really needs me to.”

“No, I’m not suggesting you ask them to call me something else,” Maura said. “I’ll talk to Sophie, but for now, let’s just let them all call us whatever they want to.”

“Okay,” Jane said. “Did you have other questions?”

Maura looked at her hands in her lap. “Are you seeing anyone? I mean, do you have a husband or a boyfriend?” Maura asked nervously.

Jane snorted in laughter. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know it’s not an unreasonable question. It’s just…if you knew…anyway, no I’m not with anyone, and I haven’t been for a long time.”

“Harper’s dad?” Maura asked.

“Not in the picture,” Jane said simply. “There’s not really much to it. She’s never known him. Emma and Finn never even met him. We had just started dating when I got pregnant. Even though he knew I had Emma and Finn, when I told him I was pregnant, he told me he didn’t want kids. I’m honestly not sure what we were doing together at all if he didn’t want kids, but whatever, Harper’s worth it. I had him sign away his parental rights just to be safe. I didn’t want him to decide he could come in and out of her life. If Harper wants to find him when she turns 18, I’ll give her the information she needs. Otherwise, he’s not a part of our lives. I was always really careful about who I introduced the kids to when I dated – not that I dated that much over the past seven years – but they ever only met one person that I dated. At this point, I haven’t been on a date in over two years.”

“Sophie’s biological father isn’t in her life either. He was for about the first year and a half of her life, but he was really unreliable about when he showed up and when he just…didn’t. I tried for longer than I should have to keep him in her life because I wanted her to know her father, but eventually, I’d had enough. I confronted him and he basically told me that he resented me and resented her for ‘holding him back.’ He wasn’t violent or dangerous, and he wasn’t verbally abusive to Sophie, but he wasn’t good for her either. At the time, he was supposed to be paying child support, which was also hit or miss, I offered him the opportunity to terminate his parental rights. As long as he promised never to try to contact Sophie or me, he wouldn’t have to pay any more child support. He never knew I was in witsec – no one in Utah ever knew for obvious reasons – so he doesn’t know we’ve moved back to Boston. Personally, I’m glad it will make it harder for him to find Sophie. I hope she doesn’t resent my decision one day, though.”

“If you had decided to get married, would you have told them your real identity?” Jane asked curiously.

“I don’t know,” Maura said simply. “I never even got close, so it never mattered. It would have felt dishonest to build a life with someone and not have them know who I really was, but I’m not sure it would have ever been worth the risk. I did plan to tell Sophie when she was old enough to understand the consequences.”

“I know we both probably have a million more questions, but their movie is probably almost over,” Jane said. “I’m guessing you guys need to get some stuff from your apartment. I was thinking maybe we could all go there, get what you need, and then stop to get you a cell phone. On the way home, we could pick up pizza or something. We need groceries, so there’s not much we could make – not that either of us feel like cooking.”

“We don’t necessarily have to get a cell phone today, but otherwise, that seems like a good plan,” Maura said.

“How ‘bout we compromise and see what time it is after we go to your apartment before we decide whether or not to get the phone?”

“Okay,” Maura said, laughing.

They both got up from the bed. Without saying a word, they met at the end of the bed, pulling each other into a comforting hug. They held onto each other for a long time, just reveling in the feeling of being back together – of being home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s actually true that people have to give up their assets when they go into witsec (one of the few things I could find about what happens when you go into witsec), but I don’t know what happens to that money. I’m guessing since most people in witsec have a criminal record, there are probably protocols in place. They are also probably less likely to have Maura’s level of wealth and assets. It’s also true that you come out of it with very little financially. The amount you’re given is dependent on your location, which is a part of the reason I placed Maura in rural Utah (low cost of living, therefore, low “exit money” for lack of a better term). Boston has an extremely high cost of living.
> 
> Also, I purposely didn’t name a neighborhood for Maura and Sophie’s apartment. I HATE when people who don’t live in the cities I’m from talk about the “bad parts” of the city.
> 
> The trigger warning about witnessing domestic violence is no longer applicable to the story. I’ve decided to change that part of the story slightly. I was originally going to have Maura be more hesitant about staying with Jane; then, after witnessing a domestic violence incident in her building, she would change her mind. Based on how the story’s going, though, I think Maura would be more amenable to Jane suggesting she and Sophie stay with them and I’d prefer not to write that type of scene if I don’t have to. Anyway, I’ve removed the trigger warning from chapter 1. I will also remove this note eventually (so that the note itself doesn’t trigger anyone), but for now, I thought you guys should know.


	8. Dinner

_Maura: June, Present Day_

They did, in fact, pack all six of them into the car – luckily, Jane had an extra car seat since she often drove Michael and Bella – and go to Maura and Sophie’s apartment. Maura was really nervous about what Jane would think, but Jane didn’t make any comments about the location or the apartment itself. Working together, it didn’t take Jane and Maura long to pack up the few possessions Maura had in the apartment. It actually took longer to get the kids in and out of the car than it did to actually pack. Maura would call the moving company on Monday; hopefully, it wouldn’t be a problem to switch the delivery address of their remaining possessions.

What surprised Maura the most was how _normal_ everything felt. She and Jane seemed to fall right back into their easy banter. While both women were aware of the time that had passed, nothing about their interactions felt awkward or forced. Jane made fun of the number of pairs of shoes Maura had managed to fit in her luggage, and Maura found more than a few random facts to share with Jane. Similarly, the girls got along amazingly well. If someone were watching from the outside, they would probably assume the four of them had grown up together their entire lives.

Maura had caught herself watching her best friend more than once while they were working together to pack up her apartment. Jane looked almost the same as when Maura had last seen her. Her wild curls were just as unruly as Maura remembered them, her long lithe body was as stunning as ever, and her tanned olive skin contrasted nicely with her white shorts and deep-red Red Sox t-shirt. However, Maura’s favorite sight was still Jane’s smile. When Jane flashed that dimpled smile that reached her deep brown eyes at her, Maura melted – every single time.

“I think we have time to stop at the Verizon store,” Jane said to Maura as she pulled out of the parking lot of the apartment building.

Maura paused before answering. She already felt bad about how much Jane had done for her, but at the same time, she had to admit that she felt a lot more uncomfortable than she would have expected without a cell phone.

“You need a phone,” Jane continued. “And it’s way easier to get it while we’re out than to get all the kids in the car to make another trip out of the house.”

Maura acquiesced with a nod, “Okay, but let’s just get…”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Jane cut her off. “We’re getting you an iPhone because that’s what I have and we both know it’s much easier if we have the same type of phone. We’re also putting you on my plan. It makes zero sense logistically or financially for anyone to have a phone plan for a single line.”

Maura sighed. “To be fair, I don’t even know if I could get a phone plan in my name yet,” she admitted. “I still have to finish the paperwork. There were some things, like getting a Massachusetts driver’s license that I couldn’t do until I got back to Boston. Legally, I am Maura Isles again, but I don’t have all of my identification yet.”

“See,” Jane said. “Another reason it makes sense.”

For a moment, Maura wondered if they were entangling too many parts of their lives too quickly – until she remembered that their lives were already completely enmeshed through their kids. Living arrangements and cell phone plans were nothing compared to that. Besides, if there was anyone she wanted to be entangled with, it was Jane.

They drove to the Verizon store in relative silence – or at least Jane and Maura were relatively quiet. The girls, on the other hand, were just as loud as always. Maura found herself just listening to their conversations, even though it was a bit hard to make out what each of them was saying as they continued to talk over each other. In the far backseat, Harper was excitedly telling Sophie all about preschool and her friends. Maura thought it was adorable how Harper just seemed to assume that her friends would automatically be Sophie’s friends too; Maura definitely hoped that would be the case. She was also entertained by how intently Sophie was listening to Harper’s stories despite the fact that she had no idea who Harper was talking about.

In the middle row, Emma and Finn seemed to be talking about a book, but Maura wasn’t completely sure. If it was a book, it wasn’t one Maura knew. Maura hadn’t spent much time with six-year-olds – actually, she really hadn’t spent any time with six-year-olds since she was one herself, and even then, she hadn’t spent much time with _other_ six-year-olds – but when she heard Emma mention Nazis, she was pretty sure whatever they were talking about was well above what a typical six-year-old would read.

“No, Jack got past the Nazi checkpoint without magic,” Emma said emphatically.

“I know, but they used magic earlier in the story,” Finn argued.

“Nuh-uh,” Emma cried. “They didn’t get their powers back until the end.”

“But…” Finn started, but Jane cut her off.

“Okay, can you both agree that they used their own skills – not magic – to save the kids?” Jane spoke over the arguing.

“Fine,” Emma huffed, followed by an exasperated, “okay,” from Finn.

Jane chuckled.

“What are they talking about that includes both magic and Nazis?” Maura asked curiously.

“A book,” Jane answered. “And they’ve been arguing about it for like two weeks. It’s one of the Magic Tree House books; do you know those?”

“No, I’ve never heard of them,” Maura replied.

“They’re chapter books for kids. There are a number of characters in the series, but the main kids are Jack and Annie. They go on different adventures in their magic tree house. The point is to teach kids about history, I guess.”

“But magic isn’t real,” Maura pointed out matter-of-factly.

Jane laughed. “I know, and they know that too, but they’re still fun books for kids.”

“I’m surprised that books aimed at six-year-olds would cover such a heavy topic. Saving Jewish children from the Nazis seems…” Maura paused unsure of how to finish the sentence.

“Yeah, well, that’s the problem with kids who have your DNA,” Jane quipped, and Maura scrunched her nose in mock displeasure; she knew Jane was teasing. “They’re reading abilities are way ahead of their age group,” Jane continued. “I do my best to at least check out what they are reading, but sometimes they’re too fast. Although, in this case, it was more that I didn’t realize that the Magic Tree House series had a few books targeted at older kids. The bulk of the series is for kids ages 6-9. They started reading them last summer, but the topics were all fine. Eventually, as long as it was a Magic Tree House book, I stopped checking the individual books. The one their talking about though, I would have preferred to know what it was about before they read it. That’s my fault, not theirs. It’s not that I wouldn’t have let them read it. I try not to censor what they read. It’s not like they’re asking to read 50 Shades of Gray or something. I just would have talked to them about it beforehand.

“It actually ended up being a really good learning opportunity though. We had a couple of really good conversations about WWII and the Nazis. We’re going to read Anne Frank together after school gets out.”

“Do they always read the same things?” Maura asked.

“No,” Jane said with laughter in her voice. “They actually rarely read the same things. The Magic Tree House books and the Harry Potter books are pretty much the only series they both read and enjoyed. We do have a rule that they aren’t allowed to talk about a book until they’ve both read it. We learned that one the hard way with the second Harry Potter book. The resulting fight and breakdown were epic.”

“I feel like you shouldn’t be describing the kids fighting as epic,” Maura teased.

Jane laughed. “Probably not, but seriously, it was epic,” Jane said. “They argue and bicker like siblings all the time. They get annoyed at each other and pretend to hate each other, but they very rarely truly fight.”

“Sort of like us,” Maura said quietly, her mind instantly flashing back to the aftermath of Jane shooting Paddy Doyle.

“Yeah, actually, exactly like that,” Jane said as she parked the car at the Verizon store. Jane glanced in the backseat before turning to Maura. “Do you want to stay in the car with the kids while I go get the phone? I think it might be easier not to bring all four of them inside.”

“Sure, I can do that,” Maura replied.

“Do you have any preferences for your phone? Color? Size? Model?””

“Just not a bright color,” Maura said. “I would really prefer not to have a neon green phone.”

“Really? Dang, I was totally going to get you a neon green phone,” Jane teased.

Maura rolled her eyes. “I don’t care between the usual black, gold, or silver,” she continued.

“Alright,” Jane said to Maura. Then, turning to the kids in the back, she told them, “I’m going to go inside to get mommy’s phone, but you guys are going to wait in the car with mommy.”

“But I want to go with you, mama,” Finn whined.

Jane seemed to consider this for a moment before agreeing, “Okay, but the rest of you wait here.”

Maura watched Finn take Jane’s hand after they had both exited the car. Before coming to Boston, Maura had been nervous about what her reaction would be to Jane’s relationship with Emma and Finn. Part of her was worried that she would be jealous and resentful towards Jane for having that bond with them instead of having that bond with them herself. Yes, she wanted the kind of relationship Jane seemed to have with all three of her girls with them as well, but jealous wasn’t the word to describe what she was feeling. Grateful was probably the most accurate word, but even that didn’t seem adequate. She couldn’t believe how much she loved watching Jane with the kids – all of them, but especially Emma and Finn.

Maura had wondered if her feelings for Jane would still be here after seven years apart. While she was gone, she had missed Jane, and she still felt like she was in love with Jane, but she wasn’t sure if those feelings would merely be memories once they were back together. It had happened before – with Ian. After leaving Doctors Without Borders, she had pined for him, and at the time, she would have said without a doubt that she was still in love with him despite the distance and time apart. However, when he did actually show up again, she realized that that wasn’t the case. Even though she had told Jane at the time that she loved Ian – she had even told Jane that Ian was the love of her life - she knew that it wasn’t the same as it had been. It’s not that she had lied to Jane when she said that. More accurately, she had just been wrong, and as much as she hated being wrong, she at least didn’t get hives on the rare occasions she was wrong.

She needn’t have worried, though. From the second Jane opened the door this morning, Maura had known her feelings hadn’t diminished one bit. She was still head over heels in love with her best friend, and it seemed like everything Jane did or said today just made Maura fall more deeply in love with her.

It scared her how easy everything today had been. She felt like she was waiting for the – wait, what’s the saying? – waiting for the other boot to fall? – no, waiting for the other shoe to drop. She just kept telling herself that she needed to take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, just like she would have if things hadn’t gone well.

Maura’s eyes drifted to the rearview mirror. Harper and Sophie were still deep in conversation. Maura was pretty sure that she had never been in this small of a space for this long without Sophie demanding her attention. Emma, on the other hand, seemed to have found a book. She was completely oblivious to the outside world, including her sisters and Maura.

Maura had been so lost in thought that she was surprised when Jane and Finn were already walking back towards the car.

“You can get whatever kind of case you want later, but I figured you needed at least something on the phone now with all the kids around,” Jane said as she handed Maura a new iPhone encased in a black OtterBox case once she was back in the car. “It’s activated, but there’s nothing on it yet. I’ll text you everyone’s contact information later tonight. Also, I ordered pizza while we were waiting in there, so we can just pick it up on the way home.”

Maura smiled and thanked Jane. She had somewhat forgotten how fast Jane sometimes moved through life.

* * *

_Jane: June, Present Day_

By the time they got home with Maura and Sophie’s belongings, a new phone for Maura, and the pizza, Jane realized that she was starving. The girls had eaten lunch, but with everything going on, she and Maura had forgotten to eat lunch themselves.

She noticed that Maura and Sophie were standing off to the side a bit while her three girls moved around the kitchen getting the table ready for dinner. She was proud that Emma, Finn, and Harper did their part without being asked. Harper was always in charge of putting out the placemats and napkins – although Finn had to remind her to put out two extra settings – and Emma and Finn alternated between setting out the plates and silverware and helping with the dishes. Today, it was Emma’s turn to set the table, meaning Finn would help with clean up. However, watching them do their chores without being asked was nothing compared to how proud she was when Harper grabbed Sophie’s hand and dragged her to the bathroom to wash their hands before dinner. She had always tried to instill in her kids the importance of making sure everyone was included and taken care of but seeing one of them do so without a second thought made her heart happy. She probably had a silly smile on her face.

She didn’t realize she had been staring until Maura walked up behind her. She jumped slightly when she felt Maura’s hand on the small of her back.

“They’re amazing kids,” Maura said so only Jane could hear. When Jane shifted her gaze to Maura, Maura added, “and you’re an amazing mother.”

Jane felt herself blush, but she hoped that Maura wouldn’t notice. “Thanks,” she said just as quietly. They stood looking at each other for a few moments, but before either of them could say anything, the noise of four hungry kids broke through their spell.

Finally, all six of them were seated with pizza on their plates. Jane mostly listened as she ate ravenously. Their kitchen table easily fit six people and sat parallel to the door-wall. She and Maura were sitting side-by-side facing the door-wall. To Jane’s left sat Finn at the head of the table, and Emma was directly across from Jane. Sophie sat at the other end of the table, just to Maura’s right, and Harper sat across from Maura between Emma and Sophie.

“Mommy,” Harper said, addressing Maura, “you like mushrooms, too?”

“Yes, sweetie,” Maura replied. “Do you like mushrooms?”

Harper shook her head. “No, but Finn does,” she said matter-of-factly, causing Jane to chuckle. Finn was the only one of the four of them who liked mushrooms, which often led to arguing when they ordered pizza. Jane had always known that this penchant for mushrooms came from Maura – how may times had they ordered a half pepperoni, half mushroom pizza over the years?

Maura smiled at Harper. “Well, Finn has good tastes then,” she said chuckling slightly.

Maura noticed that Sophie hadn’t touched her food. Her eyes were darting between Harper and Maura and her face was a mask of confusion.

“Is something wrong, darling?” Maura asked Sophie quietly, hoping not to draw attention to the three-year-old, but Sophie didn’t seem to care if everyone else knew she was confused.

Speaking loud enough that everyone could hear, she asked, “Why does Harper call you mommy if Jane carried her in her tummy?”

Maura worried her bottom lip, unsure of where to start, but before she could say anything, Harper answered, “She’s my mommy by choice just like mama is your mom by choice.” Now Maura and Sophie were both confused.

“Ah,” Jane said as she took in Maura and Sophie’s confused looks. “Um, so the way I explained family to them was to talk about how people could be family by blood or family by choice.”

“But what really matters is that we’re family by love,” Emma excitedly echoed the line Jane had said to them since they were babies.

Jane glanced at Maura, who looked a little less confused but still unsure, and Sophie, who still looked like they were talking another language.

“Emma, do you want to explain?” Jane asked. She knew Harper wanted to explain, but she also knew that Emma and Finn were likely to explain it more clearly than Harper was. Sophie’s understanding seemed more important than Harper’s wants right now. She could tell by the look on Finn’s face that she didn’t want to have to explain, her desire not to be the center of attention outweighing her love to teach.

“Yes!” Emma said excitedly. She moved to sit on her knees in the chair so that she was taller at the table. She spoke to Sophie directly, but everyone at the table was listening intently. “People can become family two different ways,” she said, holding up two fingers to show Sophie. “They can be family by blood, or they can be family by choice. Being family by blood means that they are biowogic-a-we related,” Emma said, struggling slightly with the word ‘biologically.’ “This means they share D-N-A,” she continued, emphasizing the letters in DNA. “DNA is the stuff inside us that decides what we look like. Mommy is your mom by blood. That’s why you look like her.”

Jane was impressed that Emma actually used Sophie and Maura’s relationship to each other to explain this to Sophie.

“Mommy is my and Finn’s mom by blood too,” Emma said, pointing to her sister.

“Because she carried you in her tummy?” Sophie asked, her eyebrows knitted together adorably as she tried to understand what was being explained to her.

Emma looked to Jane for confirmation, but Maura answered Sophie first, “That’s right, sweetie.”

“That means you are my sister by blood, and Finn’s sister by blood, too. But we’re not related by blood to mama,” Emma continued, pointing at Jane to make her point. “She’s our mom by choice because she chose to be our mom. Harper’s our sister by choice, too.”

“Mine too?” Sophie asked, and Emma nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes!” Emma said, excited that Sophie seemed to be understanding what she was teaching her. “Yeah, you and Harper are sisters by choice.”

“Mama is my mom by blood,” Harper interjected, clearly having reached her limit of staying quiet.

“Is Mama my mom, too?” Sophie asked.

Emma opened her mouth to answer, and Jane knew she was going to tell Sophie that yes, Jane was her mom by choice, but Jane wasn’t sure if Maura would be okay with that. They had talked about letting the girls call them whatever they wanted to, but they hadn’t talked about how they would explain everything to them.

“Hey, Soph?” Jane said quickly, cutting Emma off and earning herself a death glare from her daughter. Sophie shifted her attention from Emma to Jane. Jane scooted her chair back and held out her hands, wiggling her fingers to call Sophie to her. “Come here, sweetie,” Jane said.

Sophie obliged and climbed into Jane’s lap. As Sophie was getting comfortable, Jane made eye contact with Maura, but she couldn’t read her friend’s face.

When Sophie was looking up at Jane expectantly, Jane wrapped her arms around the toddler. “There’s one thing Emma forgot to tell you,” Jane said. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Emma open her mouth to protest, but the look Jane gave her stopped her. Jane looked back at Sophie. “People can become family in different ways, sometimes they’re family by blood and sometimes they’re family by choice, but there’s one thing that _really_ makes a family. Do you know what that is?” Jane asked.

Sophie shook her head. Her eyes were still locked on Jane’s when Finn answered the question meant for Sophie.

“Love!” Finn said excitedly, finally feeling comfortable enough to join the conversation. Sophie turned to look at Finn for a minute before she turned back to Jane.

“Love?” Sophie asked.

Jane nodded. “What really matters is love,” Jane reiterated. “And it doesn’t matter what you call me. No matter what, I love you. The label doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I’m mama, or Jane, or anything else, what matters is that we love each other and that makes us family by love.”

When Jane felt Maura’s hand on her knee, she chanced a glance at her best friend. Maura’s face showed deep gratitude, appreciation, and love.

Jane returned her gaze to Sophie, who was chewing on her bottom lip in a perfect imitation of Maura when she was both deep in thought and nervous. Sophie took a moment to look at everyone around the table before locking eyes with Maura. “We’re all family by love?” she asked uncertainly as she waved her hand over her shoulder to indicate she was referring to everyone at the table.

Maura nodded, offering Sophie a reassuring smile. “Yes, sweetie, we’re all family, and Jane’s right, it doesn’t matter what you call her, okay? You can call her whatever you want to call her.”

Jane felt bad when Sophie’s eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know,” she whined. Most of her attention was still focused on Maura, but she kept glancing over to Jane as well.

Maura reached out her hands, and Sophie instantly fell into them. She buried her face in Maura’s chest. Maura rested her cheek on the top of her daughter’s head as she rubbed her back in an attempt to comfort the overwhelmed little girl. “You don’t have to decide right now, darling,” Maura whispered into her hair.

Sophie turned her head so that she was looking at Jane, but her cheek was still resting on Maura’s chest.

“You don’t need to decide anything right now, sweetie,” Jane assured her, reaching out to gently stroke Sophie’s cheek with the back of her finger. “I love you no matter what you call me, okay?”

Sophie just nodded in response, but her initial anxiety had passed. She stayed in Maura’s arms for a little longer while everyone returned to their dinners. Eventually, Maura was able to coax Sophie back to her own chair to finish her pizza. Within a few minutes, Sophie and Harper were once again giggling in conversation.

Jane took a moment to glance around the table. This was her family, and she couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unimportant fun tidbit – my brother actually ruined the end of the second HP book for me. After that, my parents made the rule that we couldn’t talk about each book until after we both finished the entire book. We were kids/teens as the series came out; otherwise, I think my parents probably would have applied the rule to the entire series. 😊
> 
> The Magic Tree House book referenced is called Danger in the Darkest Hour by Mary Pope Osborne.


	9. The First Night

_Maura: July, Seven Years Ago_

Maura sat down gently on the edge of the hotel room bed. The last 24 hours had been probably the worst 24 hours of her life. She still hadn’t processed everything that had happened, and she definitely hadn’t processed that her life as she knew it was over.

She hadn’t had a moment to think since she had left Mark’s house during the early hours of this morning. _No, his name was Marco_ , she reminded herself as she buried her face in her hands. Why had she agreed to go home with a stranger? Well, she knew the answer to that: he reminded her of Jane with his dark curly hair, olive skin, and deep raspy voice. She’d let herself get caught up in the moment. She didn’t have a problem with the occasional one-night stand; although, it had been a while since she had engaged in one. However, she’d never expected a sexual encounter to add so disastrously. He hadn’t hurt her – at least not in the moment, but because of his actions – actions that she overheard him talk about on the phone – Maura’s life was irrevocably changed.

She had left as soon as she safely could, and she had immediately gone to her office and called her contact at the FBI. From there, everything had been a whirlwind. They had taken her statement, and upon realizing the significance of what she knew, they had moved her to a secure location, where she was questioned over and over again. And she knew that this was only the start. She was looking at months of being questioned and providing statements. Then, she was looking at a new identity and a new life. They hadn’t officially told her that she would be placed in witness protection, but she knew enough about the system to know that that was the most likely outcome, and more than one person had alluded to the fact that they would ‘protect her’ today.

And of course, she would go. She would do the right thing and provide her testimony, even if it meant giving up everything. But that didn’t mean she had to be okay with it. She would give just about anything to go back to last night, and to leave with Jane.

In the end, she had unwittingly given up a life of friendship with Jane for a night of passion with someone who reminded her of Jane.

* * *

_Jane: June, Present Day_

After dinner, they all needed a break. Jane put on another movie for the girls – something that shocked Emma and Finn since Jane _never_ let them watch this much TV unless they were sick. While the girls were watching TV, Jane helped Maura carry her bags up to the guest room and showed her where everything was before leaving her to unpack.

Jane ran downstairs to bring up the clean laundry, which mostly consisted of Emma and Finn’s clothes. She brought the laundry basket into their room and began putting everything away. After hanging up a few of their dresses, Jane noticed that there was a duffle bag shoved under Finn’s bed. She quickly checked under Emma’s bed, finding the same thing. This surprised her since they hadn’t gone anywhere recently, and she had just helped them clean out under their beds.

She pulled out the bag under Finn’s bed, unzipped it, and dumped the contents on the bed before doing the same with Emma’s bag. It took her a few minutes to figure out what she was looking at as she sorted through the items from the bags, most of which were clothes. It wasn’t until she found Finn’s pink bunny and Emma’s blue puppy in their bags that she realized they must have packed these today since they never slept without their favorite stuffed animals.

When this realization hit her, tears started streaming down Jane’s face. She let them fall as she slowly put away the clothes they had packed and placed their stuffed animals back on their beds. Her hands were shaking by the time she got to the last items in their bags. Each of them had taken a framed photo from Jane’s nightstand. One was a photo of Jane, Emma, Finn, and Harper this past Christmas and the other was a photo of the three girls from Emma and Finn’s sixth birthday.

Jane sank to her knees as sobs ripped through her body. She buried her face in the blankets on Emma’s bed as she released the built-up emotions from the day. She had no idea how long she had been sitting there when she felt Maura’s hand on her back. Without hesitating, she turned and burrowed into Maura’s embrace. Maura held her tight against her body. After a few minutes, Jane felt Maura place a soft kiss on the crown of her head and start running her fingers through Jane’s curls. Jane’s sobs slowed in response to the comforting gesture. When the hiccups started, she had to laugh at herself.

Jane sat up and leaned against the side of the bed with her knees bent in front of her. She rested her elbows on her knees, pushing back her hair with one hand. Maura shifted so that she was sitting next to Jane.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Maura asked gently.

“Maybe later,” Jane said. “M’okay.” Jane rubbed her face with her hands. She turned to look at Maura, offering her a sad smile. “Did you find everything you needed?” she asked in an attempt to deflect the conversation.

Maura nodded. “Thank you,” she said softly. “For letting us stay here. For everything.”

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Jane said thickly. They sat quietly for a few moments before Jane spoke again, “We should probably get the kids to bed.”

“I’m actually surprised Sophie is still awake since she missed her nap today,” Maura said as she stood up. She held her hand out to help Jane stand, as well.

“Harper, too,” Jane said with a smile. “Usually, she’s a terror when she misses her nap.” Jane stopped on her way out of the bedroom and turned around. She quickly picked up the frames and set them on the table between the heads of their beds – she could print new ones for her own nightstand.

Maura had stopped at the door to watch Jane. She reached out to rub Jane’s back as they walked out of the room together.

It took a while to get all four girls into their beds. Sophie was tucked in with Harper, the two of them very excited to share a bed. Maura stayed with Sophie and Harper for a few more minutes after Jane kissed them goodnight. Jane followed Emma and Finn into their room. Once they were both in their beds, holding their respective stuffed animals, Jane kneeled at the head of their beds. She reached out to stroke each of their cheeks.

“I know today was a lot,” Jane told them quietly. “How are you guys feeling?”

Finn shrugged, while Emma mumbled, “I dunno.”

“That’s okay,” Jane said. “But whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay. It’s okay to be happy, and it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay if your confused or anxious or excited, and it’s okay if you’re feeling lots of different things, too? You can talk to me about any of this, okay? Whenever you need to.”

They both nodded silently. Jane leaned forward to softly kiss each of them on their foreheads.

“Can we read for a little bit?” Finn asked.

“Of course, baby,” Jane said. “Try to turn your light off by 9pm, though, okay?” she added, pointing to the clock on the table between their beds. Jane wished them goodnight and closed the door behind her as she left the room. Maura had already said goodnight to both of them, so she was waiting in the hall. She smiled at Jane as Jane closed the bedroom door behind her.

“Do you want some tea?” Jane asked.

Maura nodded. “Sure,” she said and turned to go down the stairs. Jane followed her.

“I don’t have panda poop tea,” Jane teased as they walked into the kitchen.

Maura laughed loudly. She couldn’t believe how good it felt to be back with Jane, with her best friend, with someone who knew the little things about her. “Whatever you have will be just fine,” she said with a smile.

They chatted lightly as Jane brewed them both a cup of chamomile tea. When they sat down with their tea, they automatically sat on their usual ends of the couch with Jane on the left and Maura on the right.

“Are you okay?” Maura asked nervously as she pulled her legs up onto the couch and tucked her feet underneath her.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Jane said, her gaze locked on her tea in front of her. “Today was just a lot. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m so glad you’re here,” she added, looking up to meet Maura’s eyes. “My emotions are just all over the place.”

“That’s okay,” Maura said. “You don’t have to be 100% happy about this all the time. I get that me coming home – Sophie and I being here – it disrupts your life. I do understand that, Jane.”

“But I want you here,” Jane said softly.

“I know,” Maura replied gently. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not disruptive. That doesn’t mean it’s not hard.”

“I know,” Jane said. “I just wish I could make it easier for the kids, I guess.”

“You are, Jane,” Maura said firmly as she shifted forward onto her knees to be closer to Jane. “I know I don’t know the twins as well as you do, but I can still tell. I can see how strong their relationship is with you, how much they trust you. They know they will be okay because they _know_ you will always be there for them.”

Jane broke eye contact with Maura as tears returned to her eyes. After setting her tea on the coffee table, she pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She was still staring off into the distance, her eyes unfocused, as she said, “They packed duffle bags this morning. They didn’t think I would fight for them. They thought I’d just give them away.” Jane’s voice broke as she admitted her biggest fear. She couldn’t look at Maura. She had the distinct feeling that Maura probably wasn’t the right person to be telling this to, but Maura had always been able to get her to show her vulnerable side – Maura was always the person she wanted to talk to.

Placing her tea on the coffee table next to Jane’s, Maura moved closer to Jane and wrapped her arms around her best friend. “I’m not going to pretend that I know what they are thinking, but their behavior today doesn’t indicate distrust. Quite the opposite, in fact. Based on my observations today, I think the fact that they packed bags indicates that they have absolutely no doubt in your love for them. There is significant research on attachment styles in children and adults. It’s generally accepted that there are four attachment types, one which indicates secure attachment and three types of insecure attachment. Secure attachment is considered the healthiest type of attachment and is associated with the most positive outcomes in adulthood including physical and emotional well-being, as well as healthier romantic relationships. Children who are securely attached to their parents are sad when their parent leaves and happy when they return. They also seek comfort from their parents when they are upset or anxious, but one of the key components of secure attachment is that while the child may be distressed when separated from their parent, they are ultimately able to continue functioning because they _know_ that their parent will return.

“To me, packing a bag shows that they were able to take on whatever came next because they knew you would be there for them no matter what. And honestly, this observation isn’t limited to the idea that they packed bags. I’ve seen how they interact with you, as well as how they interact with me, and it tells the same story. They trust you implicitly and deeply.”

“Thank you,” Jane said as she leaned her head on Maura’s shoulder.

“Is that where those pictures came from?” Maura asked. “The ones you were holding when…when I found you.”

Jane nodded against Maura’s shoulder. “Yeah, they took them from my nightstand and packed them in their bags.”

“Pictures of their family,” Maura said quietly.

Jane didn’t answer. They sat like that for a few minutes. Eventually, Jane gently extracted herself from Maura’s embrace to pick up her tea again, taking a sip. “When do you want to tell the rest of the family that you’re back?” Jane asked as she sat back against the couch.

Maura sighed before picking up her own tea. She also shifted so that she was sitting against the back of the couch, but this time she was sitting pressed against Jane’s side. “Honestly, I have no idea. I know I need to do it, but every time I start to think about it, I’m terrified,” Maura admitted.

“You don’t have to do it alone, you know?” Jane said, turning her head to look at Maura.

Maura turned to meet Jane’s gaze. “It’s my responsibility,” she said. “I can’t put that on you. You’ve already done so much.”

“We’re in this together, Maur,” Jane said, gently shaking her head. “We can do this together, too.”

“Really?” Maura asked, and she hated the vulnerability that laced her voice.

Jane shifted so that she could wrap her arm around Maura’s shoulders. “Really,” she said firmly. “We can do it however or whenever you want, but if you’re open to my opinion…”

“I am,” Maura quickly cut her off, causing Jane to chuckle.

“I was just going to say that I think we should do it sooner rather than later,” Jane continued, “for a few reasons. First, I think the longer you wait, the more you are going to worry about it, but also, if it were one of our kids, I’d want to know as soon as possible. I also don’t want to ask the kids to have to hide this or lie about it.”

“That makes sense,” Maura said. “I’m fine with telling at least our parents as early as tomorrow. I’m just not sure how to do it. I mean, do I just call them out of the blue? That seems…I don’t know…but it doesn’t feel right.”

“Do you want to know my suggestions?” Jane asked.

“Yes,” Maura said, “and from here-on-out, please stop asking that and just assume I want to know what you think.”

Jane laughed. She could tell that while Maura meant what she was saying, there was an element of teasing in her voice.

“Okay, fine,” Jane said, still chuckling. “I think your parents deserve to know first. I know you weren’t super close to them, but they love you. I know they’re both in town this weekend. I could text them tonight to invite them over for breakfast. It wouldn’t be weird. We do that sometimes; sometimes, the girls will just want to see them, so we invite them over for dinner or Sunday breakfast on short notice. Then, you can tell them in person.”

“Won’t it be a bit disconcerting for them to come over and I’m just here?” Maura asked.

“I mean, they are going to be shocked no matter what, but in-person seems like a better option than on the phone, at least for as many family members as possible.”

“Okay, if you think that’s the best course of action, I’m fine with that.”

“We don’t have to do it that way,” Jane said.

“I know, but like I said, I don’t have any better suggestions.”

“Do you want me to text them?”

“Sure,” Maura said, and she watched as Jane stood up to find her phone, which was still sitting in the kitchen. Jane typed out a message while she walked back to the couch.

“As for ma, Frankie, Nina, and Tommy, we have the usual Rizzoli Sunday dinner scheduled for tomorrow,” Jane said. “So, you could see them then, but I also totally understand that that may be a bit overwhelming all at once, so I’m okay with cancelling it, and maybe just having ma over for dinner or something.”

“No, don’t cancel dinner,” Maura said. “I think I should just take the bandaid off.”

“Rip the bandaid off,” Jane corrected her with a laugh.

“Whatever,” Maura said, joining Jane’s laughter.

“Korsak and Kiki usually come, but they won’t be there tomorrow, so it will just be the immediate family,” Jane continued. She paused when her phone buzzed. “Your mom said yes to breakfast,” Jane told Maura. “They’re going to come at 10am.”

“Are we going to cook?” Maura asked.

“Oh, crap,” Jane said. “I didn’t think of that. Uh…we really don’t have anything. I seriously need to go grocery shopping. Actually, I’ll just order delivery. That will be way easier. We can place the order tonight to be delivered at 10:30am. And ma’s cooking dinner. She’ll be here about an hour or so before everyone else, so you’ll get to see her first.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Maura said. “I’d like to be able to see Angela before there are a lot of people here.”

“Well, six of us live here now, so there are always a lot of people here,” Jane teased, “but yeah, I agree.”

“I already feel better having a plan,” Maura said softly.

Jane nodded. “I don’t really have any ideas for telling Hope and Cailin though,” Jane said apologetically. “Then, I don’t know if there’s anyone else that you want to tell specifically, but I think it’s fine for most people to just find out through the grapevine.”

“Just Vince and Kiki,” Maura said. “I’d like at least one of us to tell them personally. I don’t feel like it needs to be in person, though, the same way I did for my parents and your mother. Maybe we could call them sometime soon but after your family knows?”

“Yeah, we could actually even call them after dinner because they’ll be driving back to Boston. They just went away for a long weekend.”

“Okay,” Maura said. “I also think it would be fine to tell Hope and Cailin over the phone. Maybe we could call them together as well tomorrow? Then, I can schedule a time to have lunch or dinner with them this week.”

“Okay,” Jane said; then, she unsuccessfully tried to hide a yawn behind her hand.

Maura, of course, noticed. “Let’s go up to bed,” she offered.

Jane looked at Maura. “Let’s go up and get ready for bed, but then let’s talk in bed for a little bit,” Jane counter offered.

Maura smiled. “Deal,” she said.

About 15 minutes later, they were both laying on Jane’s bed, facing each other. Maura reached out to take Jane’s hand in her own, placing her palm on the back of Jane’s hand and intertwining their fingers. “Will you tell me more about the kids?” she asked softly. “What they’re like?”

Jane smiled. She loved talking about the kids. “What do you want to know?” she asked.

Maura shrugged but didn’t release her grip on Jane’s hand. “Honestly, I don’t know…anything, really.”

“Hmm, okay,” Jane said, thinking. “Well, they both remind me of you in a lot of ways, but especially Finn. She’s so much like you, it’s crazy. Emma reminds me a lot of you, too, but she’s also really similar to me. Actually, everyone says that the two of them together remind them of the two of us. They’re both so smart, and they’re kind, generous, and thoughtful. Emma’s a little more outgoing than Finn, but they are both pretty well-liked at school.”

“Okay, so not at all like me,” Maura quipped.

“That’s not what I meant,” Jane started to backtrack until she noticed the look on Maura’s face. She rolled her eyes. “Anyway,” she drug out the word to make her point. “Emma’s the louder of the two. She’s also more impulsive, while Finn doesn’t make a single decision without thinking it through extensively, which is usually a good thing, but it’s _super_ annoying when she’s trying to pick something like a Halloween costume. They’re both protective of each other, of Harper, Michael, and their friends. Most people think Emma’s the more protective one because she’s protective in an obvious way, but Finn’s just as protective; she just does it in a more subtle way. I think that’s one of the ways she reminds me of you the most,” Jane admitted.

“They both still do all their activities together, but Finn’s favorite extra-curricular is soccer, while Emma’s is ballet, which is honestly the exact opposite of what I expected. Harper loves t-ball.”

“Oh, yes, I heard that,” Maura said suddenly as she remembered Kent’s comments in the car.

“You heard that?” Jane asked, thoroughly confused.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you,” Maura said. “I actually saw Kent this morning and he drove us to your house. It wasn’t intentional,” Maura added quickly. “You and the girls were the first people we intended to see; I promise. Anyway, he was on the way back from a crime scene and he noticed me standing on the sidewalk with Sophie trying to catch a cab. He stopped, and when I mentioned that I was trying to get a cab, he offered me a ride. He pointed out that it would be difficult to get a cab with a car seat, and he had one.”

“Maura, you don’t have to justify yourself,” Jane said with a chuckle.

“I know, I know,” Maura said. “He didn’t tell me anything about you or the girls, but Sophie was asking him questions about his son. I can’t remember his name.”

“Chris,” Jane supplied.

“Right, Chris,” Maura continued. “Well, Sophie wanted to know if girls could play t-ball and he said that the best player on Chris’s team was a girl named Harper. I didn’t put it together. Obviously, I didn’t even know you had a daughter named Harper at that time, but he was talking about your Harper, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah, Chris and Harper are on the same team. Harper’s one of the better players on the team, but honestly, they’re all pretty terrible,” Jane said with a laugh.

“Jane, they’re three,” Maura laughed.

“I know.”

“Sophie really wants to play baseball or t-ball or whatever they call it,” Maura said. “Kent said he wasn’t sure if kids could still join the team when she asked him, but he said maybe the kids could play together informally some time.”

“Definitely,” Jane said. “And I’ll see what I can do about getting her on the team. Technically, registration is closed, but it’s not like three-year-old t-ball is super competitive. I’m guessing that if we’re willing to pay the full fee, they will let her join late, especially since I’m the coach.”

“Why am I surprised?” Maura quipped.

Jane laughed. “Actually, I almost didn’t coach because I didn’t want to decide between coaching for Emma and Finn’s team or coaching for Harper’s team, but then one of Emma and Finn’s best friends Alyssa’s dad was going to coach the six-year-olds. They were both super excited to be on Alyssa’s team, so finally, I asked if they would care if I coached Harper’s team so they could be on Alyssa’s team. Honestly, I don’t think they would have cared either way as long as I’m at all their games – it’s only practices that are at the same times.”

“Okay, what else?” Jane thought out loud. “Oh, so you’ll never guess who Harper’s favorite person is.”

“Well, I would have thought you, or possibly Emma or Finn,” Maura said, confused.

“Okay, well I guess besides us because you’re right, Emma and Finn are definitely her favorite,” Jane conceded. “But other than the three of us, you’ll never guess,” she added with a laugh.

“I don’t guess, anyway,” Maura teased.

Jane laughed brightly. “Harper loves your mother, Constance,” she said, and she saw the surprise in Maura’s face. “They have a super sweet bond. There are actually a few reasons that I think they’ve really connected, but I think one reason is that Harper loves art and music.”

“You’re right, I never would have guessed that,” Maura said. “I’m honestly still surprised that my parents are good grandparents. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very glad that they are; I just didn’t expect it.”

“I didn’t really expect it either to be honest,” Jane admitted. “They were definitely awkward with the girls in the beginning, and your dad is still kinda awkward with kids in general. Your mom’s really good with all the kids though, even Michael, Bella, and TJ. Your mom hasn’t missed a single birthday or Christmas since the girls were born, and your dad has only missed one of Emma and Finn’s birthdays and one of Harper’s birthdays. It wasn’t his fault when he missed Emma and Finn’s birthday – I think it was they’re third birthday. He was supposed to fly home from Brazil a few days before their birthday, but his flights kept getting cancelled until he wouldn’t have gotten here until after his scheduled flight back. He missed Harper’s first birthday. I didn’t really think it was a big deal since he had generally been present for all three kids up until that point, but I’m pretty sure that your mom was pissed.”

“Why?”

“He accepted an invitation to give a lecture, which as long as it didn’t become an every birthday or every holiday thing, didn’t really bother me.”

“But why was my mother upset then?” Maura asked.

“I think because she thought he had the option to turn it down, but I’m not 100% sure,” Jane explained. “I’ve never asked her, but I’ve always wondered if your mom thought that I would think that they didn’t consider Harper as much their granddaughter as Emma and Finn because he missed her first birthday. She’s never said that directly, but some off-hand comments she’s made have caused me to wonder.”

“Do you think she thinks Harper is less her granddaughter than Emma and Finn?” Maura asked.

“No,” Jane said firmly. “Neither of your parents have treated or talked about the girls differently, just like ma considers Emma and Finn just as much her granddaughters as she does Harper – or Michael, Bella, and TJ for that matter. I have to stop and think about who’s biologically related to who…”

“Whom,” Maura corrected, causing Jane to roll her eyes.

“Fine, who’s biologically related to whom,” Jane said. “I think ma and your parents are the same way. It’s not that we don’t know, but we just never think about it unless it comes up.”

Maura looked at their hands that were still clasped between them. She played with Jane’s fingers for a few moments before speaking again, “I really love that.”

Jane turned her hand over, threading their fingers together and giving Maura’s hand a squeeze. “What else do you want to know?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” Maura said softly.

“Will you tell me more about Sophie then?” Jane asked.

They continued talking, until they eventually fell asleep with their hands still linked between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this past week was…intense…so it took me a while to get this chapter out, but honestly, I’m happy with how it turned out, especially the part about attachment styles.


End file.
